The pungent scent of hummus hangs heavy in the air as the nervous laughter of politicians echoes through the halls of Jerusalem. This familiar scene can only mean one thing: it's time for the annual Israeli Chancellor's Roast. While Parliament's cafeteria braces for an influx of attendees filing in for their share of skewered lamb, roasted vegetables, and light-hearted ribbing, Israeli Chancellor Steven Rothboim has left his fellow policymakers in shocked admiration as he throws caution to the wind by roasting his entire department from top to bottom in a display of self-deprecation. The Chancellor's speech opened not unlike the hollow chambers of a howling hyena, taking aim at the Israeli government's skyrocketing budget deficit with a whimsical barb. "I have a new plan to balance the budget," Rothboim began, "We'll just print trillions of shekels and then use the same miscalculations that got us into this mess to pretend it's all balanced out!" The nervous laughter grows as the Chancellor pivots from fiscal policy to military artillery, asserting that the Israeli intelligence agency's budgetary request for a new missile defense system was a bit of a stretch, pointing out that the only things they need are "more falafel stands and plenty of Mariah Carey CDs — nothing can shoot down a guided missile quite like 'We Belong Together.'" Prime Minister Dov Rosenstein, who was already visibly reddened from the sunburn he received during a recent photo-op at the Dead Sea, seemed to be squirming as the Chancellor poked fun at his recent controversial statements on immigration. "I just want to thank the Prime Minister for his brave stance on the influx of African immigrants," Rothboim snickered. "I mean, who really wants their sewers unclogged by honest, hard-working people?" But the Chancellor reserved his fiercest roasting for his own department, chuckling at their inability to address Israel's crumbling infrastructure, the soaring cost of living, and widespread corruption scandals. "When I first took this job," Rothboim recounts, "I thought I had a chance to make a real difference. But now I realize that we're just one big merry-go-round, and we're all still just hanging on to the same broken carousel horses we've been riding into the ground for decades." At this point, with the entire room in silent shock, Rothboim sighed and concluded his speech: "But at least we've got some really nice drone footage of the Sea of Galilee." As the audience exchanged worried glances, fearing gross misconduct or perhaps the onset of madness, Israeli Chancellor Rothboim invited everyone to join him in the cafeteria for what were truly some of the country's most delectable roasted dishes. And so, while their leaders toasted the evening with wine and laughter, the nation could only marvel at the delicious audacity of a man who dared to bite the hand that feeds as he served up the most enlightening roast Israel had ever seen.