In a bold move reminiscent of an overzealous demolition contractor, the Israeli Air Force has officially dubbed its latest offensive strategy the “Demolition Derby.” Yesterday, in a spectacular display of firepower that would make even the most seasoned video game players envious, they took down an 11-storey building in Beirut with all the finesse of a toddler playing Jenga. Eyewitnesses report that the scene resembled an explosive version of a local carnival, complete with the exhilarating thrill of evacuation warnings preceding the boom. “Honestly, this is just like the fun house at the fair—everything’s topsy-turvy, and you never know what will collapse next,” joked a local resident wearing a helmet he found lying around. The building, identified by a hawker selling falafel around the corner as “that place nobody ever wanted to rent,” crumbled to the ground in a majestic heap. Residents were initially skeptical about the strategy. “How is this a ‘military operation’?” asked one baffled onlooker. “I thought it was more like a city planning intervention gone wrong.” Meanwhile, officials confirmed that these strikes are part of an intense campaign against Hezbollah, although locals remarked that it’s hard to distinguish between expert military airstrikes and the latest local demolition project at this point. “Next thing you know, they’ll be calling it ‘urban renewal,’” quipped another bemused resident, who had already begun scoping out potential new parking spots amidst the debris. As the Israeli military continues to unleash these ‘demolition’ tactics, experts are left scratching their heads. “This technique might just change the whole landscape of warfare,” commented one military analyst who hasn’t seen a building intact in ages. “Why fight on the ground when you can just… erase the ground?” In light of the recent razing, local real estate agents have seen an uptick in demand for still-standing buildings, which are now considered “charming” relics of an era before aerial bombings were all the rage. “Get in now while you can,” urged an agent wearing an oversized protective hard hat. “Once this place is flattened, who knows how long it’ll take to build anything new.” With the Demolition Derby strategy in full swing, one has to wonder if the next round of air support might come complete with popcorn and nachos as spectators gather to watch the spectacle unfold. After all, in the twisted world of modern warfare, why not turn a conflict into an entertainment event?