In a stunning revelation that has everyone questioning what exactly is going on over at Iran’s Ministry of Defense and Armed Forces Logistics (MODAFL), insiders have revealed that a covert agency dedicated to nuclear ambition has been moonlighting at the country’s space program. Yes, you heard it right. While the world has been busy looking up at the stars, Iran has been launching rockets and apparently considering a side hustle in nuclear weapon development. According to sources from Fox News Digital, this top-secret agency has been taking advice from neighborhood kids who have demonstrated impressive expertise in building model rockets. In a misguided attempt to put their nuclear aspirations in a more "marketable" light, they’ve transformed their operations into commercial enterprises, blissfully unaware that a lemonade stand doesn't quite cover the costs of uranium enrichment. “Why do it the boring way when you can use the cover of space? We thought about making it a reality show, ‘Keeping Up with the Ayatollahs,’ but then we realized rocket launches get more views,” one insider quipped. Eyebrows have been raised over a recent launch where, instead of a satellite, Iran apparently tried to send its very own nuclear program into orbit. “We were aiming for the moon, but we’ll settle for an underground bunker,” stated the agency's spokesperson, who was dressed in an astronaut suit that suspiciously resembled a traditional hijab. Experts are puzzled by the development, likening Iran’s space ambitions to a tech startup that’s simply too excited to talk about its top-secret projects and endless pivots. “One day it’s launching a satellite; the next, it's like, ‘Oops, did we just create a mini-nuclear arsenal?’” said a bewildered analyst. Neighboring countries have reportedly resorted to rocket-themed angel investors, scrambling to get in on the presumed space race. “We figured if they’re planning to shoot for the stars, we should at least give them market competition,” said a diplomatic source, who wished to remain anonymous but is known for their fondness for SpaceX. As Iran prepares for its next launch, many are left to wonder what exactly is on board. “Could it be a communications satellite? Or perhaps an experimental nuclear reactor disguised as a space module?” The world holds its breath as the countdown begins, while Iranian officials laugh all the way to the launch pad, perhaps plotting their next great idea: "Space Jam but for nuclear technology." In the funhouse mirror that is modern geopolitics, who knew the road to nuclear capability would be paved with cartoonish ambitions and rocket fuel smoothies?