In a bold move that has left the world both confused and bemused, Iran's government has announced a set of unprecedented emoji sanctions that aim to regulate the use of favorite digital icons during social events. Gone are the days of “Tehran-tastic” parties where guests could freely express their inner joy via cheeky emojis. Effective immediately, Iranians are forbidden from using any emoji that the government deems too "joyful" or "celebratory." In a press conference filled with somber faces, officials revealed a new list of emojis categorized as “unpatriotic.” The infamous "party pooper" emoji is now relegated to the depths of the digital abyss, while iconic symbols like the confetti popper and dancing guy have been labeled as “dangerously festive.” “We cannot condone such unregulated happiness,” said the spokesperson, clearly committed to preserving the reputation of the nation. “We encourage somber communication. Use of the smiley emoji? Absolutely forbidden. Instead, we recommend the 'pensive face' emoji to express your national pride.” The list doesn’t stop there. Citizens are also warned that excessive use of the “thumbs up” emoji will lead to severe scrutiny. “It suggests approval of things that we simply do not approve of,” the spokesperson remarked. “Like delicious croissants and warm, sunny beach days!” In anticipation of the upcoming holiday season, the government has introduced a section of the sanctioned emojis that promotes more “appropriate” celebrations. The new, state-approved emoji collection features expressions of bewilderment, sadness, and disapproval, ensuring that every digital conversation reflects the true mood of the nation. Social media influencers, once champions of vibrant emoji-rich content, are now left scrambling to adjust their posts. One influencer lamented, “I was all set to host the biggest Tehran-tastic bash of the year, complete with an emoji collage of party hats and fireworks! Now I have to use ‘face without mouth’ just to comply?” Meanwhile, tech-savvy rebels are finding creative ways to dodge the emoji sanctions. Underground groups estimated to consist of a few bored teenagers are generating their own emojis that mimic the banned ones—mysteriously resembling the celebratory icons even if their labels read “sad slice of bread” or “slightly happy potato.” The government is already alarmed, promising swift action to dismantle the “emoji underground.” Citizens, undaunted by these new restrictions, have taken to making their voices heard. The hashtag #EmojiRevolution has taken off, with people posting pictures of their sad salad dinners while winking at the camera—just to show that they won’t be dampened by censorship. As the sanctions roll out, some are questioning whether this represents a slippery slope into a “joyless society.” Others fear a future where laughter is suppressed and emojis become nothing more than grim reminders of what once was. For now, though, the people of Iran are simply left to wonder: How can one truly express delight without a dancing eggplant?