In a bid to extract every ounce of star power from the darling of Argentine football, Inter Miami has announced a party in honor of Lionel Messi's recent acquisition of his eighth Ballon d'Or trophy. Coined as 'Messi's Trophy Show-off Party', the event will be a concoction of glitz, glamour, and goals, with a heavy emphasis on 'showing off'. Scheduled to moonlight at the DRV PNK Stadium on Friday night against New York City FC, Messi is reported to have only one job: look good, play some football, and wave around the trophy like it's just one addition to his extensive hardware collection. The organizers have anxiously stipulated that Messi may not stay on the field for the entire 90 minutes, careful not to overwork the star but ready to squeeze all the glamour they can within the permissible playtime. "Listen, we want the fans to feast their eyes on Messi, not keel over from exhaustion watching him run around the field for a solid hour and a half," said an event organizer who preferred to remain anonymous, but who we're quite sure is a major stakeholder in the event. Coined as the 'Noche d'Or' or Night of Gold, the event promises an enchanting pre-game ceremony. It will feature an astrological phenomenon not witnessed since Halley's Comet, Messi addressing the crowd. Expected to be more of an Oscar acceptance speech, the Argentinean star will show off the trophy to masses with such fervor, it can make the statue of Liberty feel underdressed. Not wanting to let Messi hold the limelight alone, MLS commissioner Don Garber and Inter Miami co-owner Jorge Mas will also chip in their two cents - an optimistic move anticipated to draw irksome sighs from Messi-swooned audiences. To add a little spice to the gala event, specialty food and beverage options will be available. While the details are under wraps, it is rumored that cocktail sausages will be served in the shape of Messi's iconic number 10, while beverages will be served in the colors of the Inter Miami club. Inter Miami fans are advised to wear sunglasses to protect their eyes from the blazing glare of the golden trophy and Lionel Messi's star power. Those unable to attend from heartache and envy can always console themselves with the post-match tweets.