In a stunning twist of fate, indigenous leaders from Argentina have taken a break from their Netflix binge-watching to demand that the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) investigate alleged improprieties involving the fracking giants currently bulldozing their way through sacred lands. After long discussions over artisanal organic coffee brewed from locally sourced beans, they collectively found time to consider the idea that perhaps the multifarious corporations involved in the oil and gas racket might not have the earth’s best interests at heart. As news broke of the indigenous communities’ calls for the SEC to step in, citizens across Argentina reportedly reacted with a collective shrug, combining a profound sense of despair over the state of world governance with a simultaneous admiration for the indigenous folks’ sheer audacity. “I mean, we’ve got climate change, corruption, and now fracking—it’s just another Tuesday down here,” said a local coffee shop owner who may or may not have been under the influence of an extra shot of espresso. In a statement from the indigenous leaders, they highlighted that the foreign corporations seem to enjoy an alarming level of impunity, aggressively exploiting natural resources while sending care packages filled with lip service and vague promises that things will totally get better. “Maybe if the SEC decides to take a look, they’ll find the trillions of corporate profits mixed in with the streams of illegal toxic waste,” stated a confident spokesperson, “Although honestly, we’d settle for a brief recognition in the corporate press releases.” As fracking operations continue to burst forth like sparklers in a dry field, Argentina’s landscape is rapidly transforming into a multi-colored patchwork of environmental devastation and corporate feasts. In the meantime, local politicians are reportedly scrambling to align themselves with either side, unsure whether to pander to voters or take a few cues from the billion-dollar corporations who might just “accidentally” fund their next election campaign. Some activists are left wondering if this is all just a mild overreaction. “Fracking might be like inviting a raccoon to a picnic—sure, it’s cute at first, but at the end of the day, your food’s gone, and your friends are unhappy,” noted one philosopher of the “they’ll figure it out eventually” school of thought. “But how will that translate into stock shares and profits?” Meanwhile, SEC officials, who have long been preoccupied with their Pinterest boards on ethical investment and organic avocado toast recipes, allegedly expressed tentative interest in the situation. “Investigate fracking? That sounds like a full-time job,” said one bemused official, “but didn’t they just announce a new sustainable fund? We’re just hoping everyone remembers that corporate sustainability is the REAL investigation.” In light of this perfectly sensible chaos, analysts warn that we may be on the verge of witnessing the most ironic farce in modern environmental activism—indigenous voices finally rising and demanding accountability from the very institutions that have long shied away from confronting corporate power. As the dance of accountability waltzes forward, all eyes will be on the SEC. Will they be the dancing partner that actually shows up, or just another wallflower clinging to outdated rhythms in a smoke-filled room? For now, everyone will just keep refreshing their feeds, eagerly anticipating either an epic corporate scandal or an inspirational tweet about accountability from a yoga-centered hedge fund. Let the dance continue!