In a shocking move bound to send shockwaves through Silicon Valley, the Indian Directorate General of Foreign Trade (DGFT) has decided to slam shut the proverbial gates on laptops and tablets from foreign shores, with immediate effect. Their reason? Escaping the labyrinth of the dodgy WiFi connections that plague these foreign contraptions. The DGFT has made it quite clear that importing these tech gadgets will now require a license for restricted imports, unless they’re smuggled in a suitcase or used for seemingly dubious reasons like research, development, or benchmarking whatever that may be. They’ve also determined that strictly essential parts of 'Capital Good' are allowed in, although there’s no word on what exactly constitutes an 'essential part'. "India no longer wants to be the dumping ground for dodgy WiFi machines," declared Purushottam Ranjan, a spokesperson for the DGFT, from the steps of his office, as he struggled fiercely with the WiFi on his own imported tablet. "We've had enough of the 'unable to connect to network' fiasco. We deserve better!" he added, echoing the sentiment of millions who have spent endless hours staring at the spinning wheel of internet uncertainty. In a masterstroke of computational logic only ascribed to government bodies, the DGFT has turned the irritating issue of dodgy WiFi into a catalyst for promoting domestic manufacturing and reducing digital dependency. “Why import when we can create our own connection conundrums?” Ranjan proposed with a sense of national pride. However, chagrined tech enthusiasts who've placed their faith in non-subcontinent WiFi hang onto a glimmer of hope, i.e., the 'Baggage rules'. "Surely, a few laptops can fit into my grandma's oversized suitcase," mused Sudarshan, a college student who dreams in code and fears being forced to rely on rigorously Indian WiFi. Silicon Valley executives are in shock, with one anonymous source muttering, "Does this mean we have to start providing tech support to India?" There's been a sudden surge in applications for Indian language courses across California as they brace themselves for this newfound calamity. While the new directive comes with a handful of hassles, it also brings a glimmer of hope for Indian tech companies. While they might not have the finesse of a MacBook or the sleek wizardry of a Samsung tablet... they definitely have a chance of offering a WiFi connection that’s just a tad less dodgy. As India embraces this new tech era of homegrown gadgets and comparatively stable internet, we're compelled to wonder: will 'Made in India' finally lose its notorious shine as 'Maze of a WiFi connection'? Guess, we would have to live with the suspense, just like with the WiFi connections.