In an unprecedented display of academic prowess, students from across Idaho convened at the annual Negotiation Summit, where the focus was resolutely placed on mastering the art of evasion through polite debate. The event, sponsored by the Idaho Institute for the Absolution of Accountability (IIAA), attracted a record number of participants eager to learn how to sidestep responsibility with charm and finesse. With workshops such as “How to Disagree While Nodding Enthusiastically” and “The Subtle Art of Deflection: When to Smile and Change the Subject,” participants were given an array of tools to ensure that, no matter the issue at hand, someone else would ultimately bear the brunt of accountability—or, better yet, a slightly less enthusiastic participant. “The goal is to cultivate a polite society where refusal becomes an art form,” commented esteemed guest speaker Blithe W. Dare, an expert on the nuances of verbal gymnastics. “We’re teaching these students how to maintain their social standing while veering away from responsibilities as deftly as a politician dodges a town hall Q&A.” Keynote speeches focused on heartwarming anecdotes of past successful divergences. One resonant tale revolved around a student who skillfully convinced an entire group to partake in a group project, only to disappear from all meetings and discussions, leaving his peers marveling at his tact. “He framed it as an ‘opportunity for others to shine,’” said one stunned attendee. “I didn’t even get mad—I just wanted to learn his secrets!” Debate formats at the summit included the popular “Redirection Round,” where participants were pitted against one another in rapid-fire exchanges that focused on so many unrelated topics that responsibility could only sigh and fade into the background. Practice rounds suggested lengthy discussions on the merits of pineapple on pizza when confronted with issues such as student debt or environmental responsibility. “It works like a charm,” said overwhelmed sophomore Jasper P. Lee, “I went in thinking I’d have to actually account for my actions, but now I just nod thoughtfully and change the conversation to the latest Netflix series!” The pièce de résistance of the event was the final competition: the “Get Out of Jail Free Debate.” Participants were presented with scenarios of overwhelming responsibility—ranging from overdue assignments to community service—and given five minutes to deftly maneuver towards absolution. The winning team managed to pivot a longstanding complaint about the lack of mental health resources into a passionate argument for a new ice cream flavor at the campus café, leaving judges simultaneously bewildered and impressed. In a touching display of solidarity, participants also enjoyed a moment of silence for all the doomed projects that had been left in the hands of rock-solid group members. “We know you tried,” they murmured, raising their smoothies in a toast to the art of responsible avoidance. As the summit concluded, the attendees dispersed into the Idaho landscape, armed with the knowledge that one can be the life of the party and simultaneously the unwilling poster child of follow-through. In a world where accountability often feels like a heavy anchor, these students are champions of the gentle art of negotiation—even if it involves floating like clouds above any real responsibility.