How to Fix the World’s Economy: Insights from the Journal That Knows Best In an age where economic uncertainty looms larger than a stock market crash, the world turns its anxious gaze toward the holy grail of financial wisdom: Economic Policy, a quarterly peer-reviewed journal that cunningly disguises itself as mere ink on paper but, in truth, is a veritable oracle of international economic problems that could turn even the most fervent cynic into an adrenaline-fueled optimist. So, how do we take the wise teachings of this prestigious journal, established in 1985 and featuring a dazzling impact factor of 2.844 (wow, really making waves there, aren't we?), and translate them into action? Here are some foolproof strategies, because if the world’s economy can’t be fixed with serious policy debates and endless academic discourse, it can certainly be tackled with a hearty sprinkle of sarcasm and a dash of cynicism. First, let’s talk about macroeconomics. Simply ignore all the data that suggests a global recession could be looming. Instead, we should rely on that golden nugget of wisdom we glean from Economic Policy: “Let’s just print more money!” An age-old strategy beloved by those who enjoy their economics akin to a game of Monopoly—cheap tricks creating even cheaper thrills. Who needs stable currencies when you can just live life on the edge of hyperinflation? Surely, our brave leaders would then be seen standing atop the remnants of economic collapse, valiantly shouting, “At least we tried!” Next up is the labour market. Never mind the increasing numbers of gig workers desperately trying to make ends meet in a gig economy that pays less than pocket change. Economic Policy has clearly outlined a solution: why not eliminate the minimum wage altogether? Think about it! What better way to incentivize custom-tailored productivity than by giving companies the glorious freedom to pay their workers in thank-you notes and the occasional pat on the back? The heavenly triumph of “free-market capitalism” will reign supreme as young professionals embrace their fate with nothing more than a cup of optimism and a side of struggle. Then there’s trade, the beating heart of globalization. The journal, ever the beacon of enlightenment, encourages us to embrace protectionism with open arms. Because, of course, who needs access to a diverse marketplace when you can bunker down in your cozy little nation, shunning foreign competition like the plague? Reintroducing tariffs and quotas will not only boost local industries but also ensure we enjoy fewer options and higher prices. Hallelujah for making consumer choices as thrilling as watching paint dry! And let’s not forget the enticing world of taxation. According to Economic Policy’s witty observations, the solution to government spending woes is simple: reduce taxes for everyone! Taxes are a headache anyway—let’s turn them into the aspirin no one wants to take. What could possibly go wrong when we deprive governments of the necessary funds to, you know, run things? No roads, no schools, no social services—just the sweet freedom of financial anarchy, where the joys of economic disparity can flourish unabated, and those who have the most aren’t burdened by pesky contributors to society. And how could we overlook migration, that fiery topic of modern political discourse? The journal’s insights remind us that the best way to “fix” our economy is by erecting higher walls—figuratively and literally. After all, nothing screams “economic prosperity” like denying hard-working individuals the chance to contribute to our grand vision of economic greatness. Let the uneducated masses battle it out amongst themselves while those enlightened souls in their ivory towers sip lattes and contemplate the econometric equations that have clearly illuminated all solutions. In conclusion, fixing the world’s economy according to the revelations of Economic Policy is as easy as turning theories into farce. So here’s to ignoring reality and bravely navigating through our assumptions, one satirical twist at a time. Because, let's be honest, when confronted with global economic crises, who needs common sense when you have clever journal articles to illuminate your path? Just remember—when in doubt, consult the journal that knows best, where the world’s economy is ripe for the fixing… right after this next quarterly issue.