In a groundbreaking move that has left environmentalists shaking their heads in disbelief and residents wondering if they accidentally stumbled into a dystopian fiction novel, federal agencies have decided to combat the holiday blues with a fiery twist. Yes, you guessed it: the government is unleashing a series of controlled burns, dubbed "Operation Holiday Cheer," to “help communities embrace the spirit of the season” — and possibly keep up with their yearly quota of pyromania. As local fire departments hurriedly costumed themselves as festive elves, they geared up to set dry brush ablaze in cities across the nation. Officials insist that nothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like the smell of smoldering pine and burning sage wafting through the air. "We wanted to brighten community spirits by cooking up a bit of ecological chaos," said one jubilant bureaucrat, holding up a match and beaming with holiday glee. Residents, meanwhile, are left with a mixed bag of emotions. “I thought the worst part of the holidays was dealing with family, but now I have to add ‘forest fire’ to my list of concerns!” lamented local mom, Martha Maxfield, as her backyard resembled a scene from an early 2000s disaster movie. Children were spotted roasting marshmallows over flames that used to be the neighborhood's prized rose garden. In true holiday spirit, the government has guaranteed that the infernos will be “eco-friendly.” “We don’t mean to alarm you, but we’re just returning the forest to its natural state of combustibility. You can’t have a Christmas tree without a little kindling, right?” countered an official who was later seen launching fireworks into the sky, just for added cheer. Critics of Operation Holiday Cheer have voiced concerns over the decision. Green activists are flooded with feelings of despair as they watch both flora and fauna plummet into an abyss of cinder. “Traditionally, we’ve stressed candlelight and bonfires as cozy holiday rituals," sighed one environmentalist, “but now we’re lighting up entire ecosystems! It’s like the government is playing a game of ‘Spot the Carbon Footprint.’” Still, the fires are igniting a frenzy of social media posts. Hashtags like #BurningBright and #FeedTheFlames have gathered momentum as influencers proudly showcase their ‘after’ photos of beloved backyards turned charcoal landscapes. “A little smoke is in this season,” quipped one TikTok user as they posted a video tutorial on how to make holiday s'mores from the remnants of your singed privacy fence. Meanwhile, the festive air has been bolstered by traditional holiday songs featuring updated lyrics to reflect the current burning craze. “Jingle Bells, Tinder Smells, Fire’s on the Rise,” has quickly become a favorite among children who are learning early that a little chaos adds a splash of excitement to gift unwrapping. As cities prepare for Christmas with an inferno, the holiday spirit shines bright – with hopes that other communities may soon follow suit. Plans for next year include fireworks set to music, aerial displays of flaring residential homes, and ice sculptures modeled after the charred remains of cherished public parks. After all, nothing beats a little ecological chaos when it comes to spreading joy this holiday season!