In a shocking turn of events that has absolutely no precedent in the history of neighborhood disputes, the residents of Maplewood Street are bracing for the grand return of the exiled neighbors. Yes, those infamous former residents, the Johnsons, known for their unparalleled ability to turn backyard barbecues into full-scale family feud marathons, are packing up their station wagon and planning to reinsert themselves into the heart of the community. The Johnsons, who were lovingly escorted out of the neighborhood two summers ago following a highly publicized dispute over property lines and an inflatable unicorn, have announced their intention to come back. The driving force behind their return? A distinct lack of plausible alternatives and an insatiable craving for the same dramatic life they stirred up years prior. “Honestly, we thought they would stay at least another state away,” sighed Sandra Pritchard, treasurer of the Neighborhood Watch Committee. “But it turns out being exiled has its perks—like not having to deal with the volume of their parties. I shudder to think what it’ll be like finding a place to park my car when they throw their annual ‘End of Summer Blowout’—an event that somehow involves firecrackers, karaoke, and interpretive dance.” While local residents cautiously welcome the Johnsons back, they are preparing for what experts are now calling “The Great Return of the Exiled Neighbors.” Community meetings are being held to devise an elaborate plan of action, including strategically placed “Welcome Back” signs that double as barriers to block off a path to the Johnsons’ notoriously raucous backyard. “I fear they’ll bring their chaotic lifestyle back with them,” lamented Donny Reynolds, who’s been dubbed the “Overseer of the Quiet Zone” since the dusk-to-dawn silence rule was established post-Johnson trauma. “We have worked too hard to legitimize our 10 p.m. curfew…only for them to ruin it all with two-for-one margarita specials at their ‘welcome home’ party.” In a rare, completely unexpected move, several Maplewood residents have taken to social media to express their delight at the prospect of the Johnsons’ return. “Can’t wait to relive the glory days of lawsuits and rumors!” posted one neighbor, an enthusiast of neighborhood skirmishes who has previously wished for more civil unrest in his life. “It’s like losing a cornerstone of reality-TV drama and now it’s back!” The Johnsons have assured residents that they are bringing fresh ideas to enhance community bonding, like a neighborhood running club that doubles as a discussion forum for gripes and grievances, complete with team uniforms bearing the motto, “Let’s air our dirty laundry together!” As the hometown of passive-aggressive notes left on doors, the return of the Johnsons promises to restore a crucial element to Maplewood Street’s charm—fighting over who left the trash bins out too late and how many parking spaces can be claimed ahead of time for a lawn party. In summary, the residents of Maplewood Street are both trepidatious and gleeful about the impending upheaval. As the Johnsons re-enter the comedic stage of neighborhood antics, one thing is clear: the days of courteous greetings and neighborly snacks are history. Hold onto your lawn chairs and double-check your hedges, folks; it’s about to get delightfully disorderly.