The legendary Hawkeyes have done it again! The University of Iowa women's basketball team known as "The Hawkeyes," made a mockery of the history books yesterday, shattering the all-time attendance record previously set by a bunch of ancient history buffs way back in 2002. Ladies and gentlefolk in the crowd were drowning in a sea of cheesy nachos and rampant enthusiasm, as a whopping 55,646 strong congregation filled the Kinnick stadium last night for the "Crossover at Kinnick" exhibition game against the DePaul Blue Demons. This was unprecedented, especially when considering the previous record set by, well, we barely remember who, somewhere around the year 2002, managed to gather only a measly 29,619 spectators. Despite the clear historical one-upping happening on the field, it seems the Hawkeyes' weren't content. Instead, channeling their inner philanthropists, they decided to show who's boss on the charity front too. The proceeds from this game, tough girl bosses knocking each other around, appropriately nickname “Crossover at Kinnick”, will be benefiting The University of Iowa Stead Family Children's Hospital. This is a classic case of adding insult to injury for the previous record holders - not only did the Hawkeyes trounce their record, but they also showered the proceeds on charity, share the love on a level that should make even the grumpiest of folks smile. "This is a staggering result for the Hawkeyes. I mean, those poor souls back in 2002. Not standing a chance, really," remarked avid fan and purveyor of epic understatements, Herb Biggs. When asked about how they pulled off such an extraordinary feat, Sue Mavis, the team coach simply shrugged her shoulders lightly, adjusted her champion-like grin, and modestly declared, "It's simple, really. We just opened our hearts, played ball, and let people come in droves to live the experience. Funny how that works out.” It appears that not only are the Hawkeyes obliterating records, but they're also doing some much-needed charity work at the same time. It's almost sickening how wonderful it all is. Meanwhile, the Hawkeyes' regular venue, the Carver-Hawkeye Arena, which has a capacity of ______, is reportedly feeling somewhat left out in all this whirlwind of a spectacle. But then again, aren't we all? On the other hand, the DePaul Blue Demons now have the burden, nay, the honor of participating in this history-making melee. We wonder how they're dealing with the dramatic realization of being part of a record, albeit on the not-so-victorious end. It's a tough pill to swallow, and frankly, one we're not entirely unsympathetic to. So as the sun set on the Kinnick stadium, it's safe to say that history did not just lightly jog past, but provocatively twerked its way into the records. Well played, Hawkeyes, you've set the bar quite a ways above our heads!