In a stunning display of political acumen, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. took to the Hill this week, engaging lawmakers in a riveting dialogue that left many scratching their heads—or laughing uncontrollably, depending on their perspective. When pressed on his personal vaccination choices, a topic he famously dodges like a game of political dodgeball, Kennedy boldly declared, “I’m no doctor! So trust me not on vaccines, but definitely on tax cuts!” This proclamation was met with a mixture of applause and confusion, as attendees attempted to discern how the two issues were even remotely related. The health secretary then went on to defend the Republican strategy of slashing healthcare funding to bravely extend the tax cuts for the affluent. “After all, who needs healthcare when we can have more money in our pockets? What’s the saying? A penny saved is a penny earned—unless you’re saving it by cutting off your healthcare,” he quipped, eliciting laughter from both chambers. Kennedy’s remarks came during his first testimonies before Congress since his confirmation, making it a monumental occasion for both supporters and skeptics alike. Lawmakers peppered him with questions about various health issues, but he skillfully maneuvered each inquiry, pivoting to economic policies where he felt infinitely more comfortable. “Look, who cares about the science behind vaccines when you're holding a robust tax plan in your hands?” he contended, earning some serious head-nods from the economic conservatives present. When asked how he believed parents should navigate their children’s vaccinations without qualified advice, Kennedy shrugged and suggested they seek guidance from their favorite financial advisors. “Honestly, if you’re relying on me for medical advice, you might as well invest in a Bitcoin fund,” he smirked. As his testimony wrapped up, a cheeky reporter shouted: “So, should we trust you with our health?” Kennedy, without missing a beat, shot back, “Only if it’s tax-related!” In the aftermath of his appearance, pundits are left to wonder whether Kennedy has inadvertently created a new political philosophy: the “Tax Cut First, Health Later” approach. Meanwhile, families across the nation are reportedly left considering new financial strategies involving savings accounts instead of vaccination schedules. As the echoes of laughter faded from the Capitol halls, one thing became abundantly clear: when it comes to health, vaccines, and taxes, it’s best to take everything Secretary Kennedy says with a grain of salt—or maybe a whole shaker's worth.