**INDIANAPOLIS 500 RACE REPORT — by Gurtha Maputz** The Indianapolis 500 took a dramatic turn this weekend as Jack Harvey, channeling his inner Katniss Everdeen, eliminated rival and teammate Graham Rahal in a last-ditch effort to secure a place on the starting grid. During the annual racing Hunger Games, Harvey heroically beat Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing teammate Rahal for the coveted 33rd and final spot. In a thrilling scene lifted straight from the popular film franchise, Harvey, armed with a homemade longbow, successfully took down Rahal in a harrowing game of racing musical chairs. Commentators were astounded by the unexpected turn of events, wondering how such an arsenal was allowed in a highly regulated motorsports event. "I've never seen anything like this," said one breathless commentator, while another added, "He truly is the Katniss Everdeen of Indianapolis racing." Harvey, explaining the surprises on the track in detail, expressed his disappointment at the team's overall lack of speed. He claimed that he had to resort to his newfound bow-and-arrow skills to make up for the deficiencies. "If my car isn't going to be the fastest beast out there, then dammit, I'll do whatever it takes to ensure my place on the track. I'm Harvey Everdeen now." With three of its cars fighting for the final row on the grid, the atmosphere in the Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing Team was tense. Since only two of the three could emerge with smiling faces of victory, the prevailing sentiment seemed to be: you either adapt or you die. Harvey, now with the scent of racing gasoline and blood in his nostrils, added, "I will go full-on Katniss mode if needed to survive in the upcoming final race. I expect some sort of twisted out-of-your-seat, Game of Thrones-esque drama to play out. Be prepared." Dale Coyne Racing's rookie Sting Ray Robb, whose car was pitted against the three Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing vehicles, welcomed the intensity. "It's my first racing Hunger Games, so I'm just happy to be here. Bring it on, Harvey Everdeen!" As we anxiously await the final installment of this high-stakes racing drama, one can't help but wonder what other hidden talents and strategies are waiting to unfold. Are there more weapons we're yet to see, or has Harvey peaked too soon in his quest for ultimate racing victory? Only time, and perhaps a fittingly-placed 'Girl on Fire' performance by Alicia Keys, will tell.