Legendary Gymnastics Coach Béla Károlyi, who not only coached Olympic champions but also perfected the art of flipping from success to controversy, has decided to perform his final dismount at the age of 82. Eyewitnesses report he landed with the grace of a cat but the impact of a ton of bricks, leaving behind a legacy that can only be described as a blend of gold medals and “What were they thinking?” Károlyi, a man whose coaching philosophy centered around extraordinary feats and inexplicable shouting, became a household name for his success with athletes like Nadia Comăneci and Mary Lou Retton. His coaching techniques were so intense that even his barks had a gold medal count. USA Gymnastics announced with a mix of sorrow and relief, “Béla is gone, but don’t worry, we’re still working on our Olympic goal of shoving our problems under the rug until the next big event.” The cause of death remains shrouded in mystery, with sources suggesting it could have been from the weight of the hundreds of gold medals hanging around his neck during a final dramatic exit. Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists are already speculating that he’s simply in another one of his elaborate training camps—taking on the afterlife like he took on the Olympics: with a heavy dose of pressure and just the right amount of tears. His arrival in the great beyond may only be overshadowed by the celestial gymnasts he’s about to coach. Rumors are swirling that he has challenged the angels to a routine that’s “to die for” (pun intended). “I’ll bring the tears, you bring the skill,” is believed to be his first line to the heavenly squad, setting expectations for the afterlife’s Olympic Games. Despite the accolades and numerous world records, Károlyi's career was always flavored with a touch of controversy. Accusations of fostering a toxic training environment were abundant, with many gymnasts speaking about the demanding nature of his programs. To which Károlyi allegedly retorted from beyond the grave, “Pfft, you thought I was tough? Wait till you meet my coach in heaven!” His wife, Márta Károlyi, undoubtedly the only person who understood him on Earth and possibly in the Great Gym in the Sky, is expected to continue his legacy. She’s reportedly creating a new class of angelic gymnasts who can flip through clouds and perform triple somersaults while complaining about the dieties' snack options. As America grieves the loss of a coaching legend, they're also preparing for a future where “Károlyi method” workshops will undoubtedly spring up, teaching parents how to refuel their kids’ dreams with a side of “Yelling is Love.” Funeral arrangements are currently underway, and insiders hint at a “gold medal theme”—just remember, no one’s allowed to underperform during the ceremony. Goodbye, Béla. May your afterlife be as eventful and controversial as your time on Earth—though we’re pretty sure the other side will be too afraid to give you a score.