In a bold move that has shocked both taco enthusiasts and tax accountants alike, the tiny town of Grand Blanc, Michigan, has officially declared itself a global consulting hub, claiming it will now provide expert advice on all things related to Taco Tuesdays and tax deductions. Mayor Gertrude T. Aco, who has long been an advocate for both delicious food and financial transparency, announced the initiative at a press conference in front of a local taco truck. “We realized that with all the chaos in Washington, our little town could step up to the plate — and by ‘plate,’ I mean a heaping basket of nachos,” she declared, while holding a taco aloft like a ceremonial scepter. The town’s new consulting service, humorously dubbed “Grand Blanc Talks,” has already garnered national attention. Residents formed an unexpected task force composed of local chefs, accountants, and an overly enthusiastic conspiracy theorist who believes tacos are a form of communication from outer space. “Why should we leave important decisions to distant lawmakers who don’t even know the difference between a carne asada and a carnitas?” asked Tim “The Taco Taxman” Wilkins, local accountant and taco aficionado. “We have the expertise right here! We can help Americans dream big — from Taco Tuesdays to tax write-offs for salsa dancing lessons!” The town’s first project is to create a set of definitive guidelines for Taco Tuesdays, which, according to a survey conducted by the Grand Blanc Taco Council, is a culinary sacrament in need of codification. Among the proposed rules: 1. Mandatory Taco Diversity: At least three types of tacos must be served, with strict penalties for “taco monotony.” 2. No Taco Left Behind: A promise that no taco will be left unconsumed, mandating that all leftover tacos must be transformed into glorious breakfast burritos the following morning. 3. The Great Salsa Debate: A panel will be formed to determine the legal definition of salsa, with sub-committees to tackle issues like chunky versus smooth and the contentious pineapple salsa question. But it doesn’t stop at tacos. The consulting service is already drafting a comprehensive strategy for tax season, titled “Tax Deductions for Foodies,” which aims to help citizens maximize their write-offs for “food preparation” — including everything from pizza delivery to gourmet taco dinners. “It’s about time someone focused on the real issues facing Americans,” said local resident Becca Plate, who has taken to social media to promote her “Taco Tuesday Tax Savings” workshops. “Why should I feel guilty for ordering out when I can honestly profit from the experience? If I can write off my nachos as ‘business expenses,’ I’m living the dream!” While the initiative has built a healthy following, opponents have emerged, particularly from the local gym, “Fit ‘N’ Lean,” claiming that the consumption of tacos just might ruin their “Kale and Cardio” diet. “Tacos? Who even eats those anymore?” asked the gym owner, while simultaneously polishing a kale smoothie. Despite the controversy, Grand Blanc remains steadfast in its mission. The mayor added, “This isn’t just about taxes and tacos, folks; it’s about community! And if you can’t bond over chips and guacamole, can you really call yourself an American?” With plans to extend the consulting service to include ceremonial taco-centric holidays and taco health benefits (because who needs actual health insurance when you can have taco insurance?), Grand Blanc is well on its way to becoming the taco capital of America—one deduction at a time. So, the next time you’re pondering life’s great questions, such as “Where do I buy the best taco ingredients?” or “What percentage of my income can I realistically allocate to taco consumption?” remember: Grand Blanc has your back. Just be prepared to pay a consulting fee in the form of spicy guacamole!