In a whimsical turn of events that nobody saw coming, expired Covid-19 antigen tests are now being heralded as the hottest new collectible items among health-conscious hipsters and eco-warrior grannies alike. The trend started when a local thrift shop posted a photo of a vintage Covid test kit alongside a “unique” vinyl record from the 80s, leading collectors to realize just how valuable those expired tests could be. “I mean, who wouldn’t want a piece of history?” exclaimed Jenna, a self-proclaimed ‘health history curator.’ “I’ve turned my entire living room into a shrine of vintage health collectibles, and my crowning jewel is an expired test from 2022. It still has that ‘just opened’ scent, plus a few interesting stains from a misadventurous take-out order. It’s art!” Collectors are now scouring their drawers and attics, unearthing old test kits in hopes of flipping them on social media marketplaces for upwards of $50. “It’s like, the ultimate throwback,” said Todd, a collector who boasts a prized collection of expired tests he found while ‘deep cleaning’ his junk drawer. “My friends had no idea how rare these things were. They all chucked theirs out—uncultured!” Health experts are scratching their heads at this bizarre trend. “You shouldn’t use expired tests, obviously,” said Dr. Lisa Knowbetter, a public health expert. “But apparently, as long as you slap a sticker on it that says ‘vintage,’ it completely changes the value. Next thing you know, we’ll be seeing expired cough syrups being sold on Etsy!” To further increase demand, some crafty entrepreneurs have started creating faux vintage labels and packaging to enhance the aesthetic. “They’re just old tests with a cool backstory now,” explained one especially enterprising individual. “We thought we might as well cash in on the nostalgia. ‘Remember when we were all scared of touching door handles? Classic times!’” Shrewd collectors are now holding onto their expired tests like precious family heirlooms, hoping that someday, they might find themselves the subjects of a new art exhibit or a bizarre auction on a reality show—“The Antiques Roadshow: Health Edition.” As this vintage health collectible craze grows, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has humorously responded by considering a new campaign: “Got Expired Tests? Share Your Thrills, Not Your Germs!” It seems the only thing that can rival the discussions sparked by these antiquated tests is their shadowy status as cult classics in the unlikely crossover of health and nostalgia. So, if you happen to stumble across a few old test kits gathering dust, take a second look before tossing them out. You might just have a piece of pandemic history ready to redefine your living room or become the envy of your friend group. Who knew that saving the world might’ve just turned into saving a collectible?