In a move that has completely obliterated the previous record for "Most Star-Studded Flight to Space," Blue Origin is gearing up for a historic all-female space mission that promises to be more dramatic than a season finale of any reality show—not that we would know, because who watches TV anymore when you can watch women launch into the cosmos? Katy Perry, the self-proclaimed queen of pop and space karaoke, is leading this intergalactic girl gang on an odyssey that could only be rivaled by the antics of the Spice Girls. Joining her on this mission is a lineup that screams "empowering!" louder than a high school pep rally: the brilliant talk show host Gayle King, who is probably just looking for an excuse to ask an astronaut about their skincare routine at 30,000 feet; Lauren Sanchez, whose main qualification seems to be dating Jeff Bezos; film producer Kerianne Flynn, who is rumored to be planning a biopic about the event entitled "Space: A Fabulously Enhanced Reality"; NASA rocket scientist Aisha Bowe, who, let's be honest, is definitely the one who will be doing all the actual rocket science; and civil rights activist Amanda Nguyen, who is likely preparing to draft some sort of space legislation while hurtling through the stratosphere. The suborbital rocket flight is expected to reach heights unimaginable to the average girlboss within a mere 11 minutes—just enough time for an Instagram live session, several selfies with cosmic landscapes in the background, and a spirited rendition of "Firework" that might just cause a sonic boom and possibly alter the trajectory of space debris. "It’s about time women took their rightful place among the stars," Perry was quoted as saying from a press conference while petting a cat in a spacesuit. “Why should men be the only ones to look ridiculous in zero gravity? It's our turn to own the ‘floating in space’ aesthetic!” However, not all space enthusiasts are excited about the idea of a reality show in the making. Some critics have pointed out that the flight focuses more on celebrity empowerment than actual scientific exploration. Can we really classify a group of pop stars belting out karaoke classics in a vacuum as “scientific advancement”? Most scientists are shaking their heads, while concurrently drafting theories on the effects of showbiz karaoke on the space-time continuum. Meanwhile, Bezos himself has been busy looking for trendy new moon rocks to put in his “Moon-ificent Collection” since he is clearly the star of every Blue Origin show, whether he’s in the cockpit or not. With a grin that could light a dark room, he reassured everyone that all safety precautions were being taken: “The only thing that will be launched into space today is a lot of girl power and some questionable vocal performances.” As the countdown to lift-off begins, the world watches with bated breath. Will they reach the stars, or will they simply float around in a dizzying combination of glitter and misguided ambition? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure: even if they can't reach Mars, the spectacle may just inspire a new generation of astronauts—or at least some very lucrative merchandise. In the meantime, the cosmos collectively rolls its eyes and prepares for an influx of TikTok videos set against a background of an endless void. Stay tuned!