In a shocking turn of events, the German bobsledding team has announced plans to construct a second podium, just to keep up with their growing number of championships. "At this rate, we'll have to start charging admission just to watch our athletes collect their medals," remarked coach Hans Gluck. "We've run out of space on the regular podium, and I simply refuse to let them stand in line like they’re at an amusement park." The recent world championships saw Germany once again dominate, claiming a staggering 56 of the 59 available podium positions across all sliding sports, with the occasional slip-up courtesy of Austria and Poland—who each managed a fleeting moment of glory in a fierce winter sports rivalry that has taken many by surprise. "We expected them to show up and take some pictures," said bobsled pilot Klaus Niemann. "But to see them actually finish with medals? That was just rude." In a bizarre twist, the team has also started issuing “Medal of Participation” awards to their own discouraged competitors. "Why let someone go home empty-handed in a sport where we dominate?" said team manager Ingrid Schmetterling. "We’ve got plenty of gold to spare. Besides, morale is crucial! They're like little siblings cheering for their older brother who cleans up at family game night." Critics argue that such entitlement may stifle competition, with rivals jokingly suggesting that future championships should include “The German Bobsledding Experience” wherein other countries can “demonstrate” their skills while German athletes laugh politely. "We just want to have fun, you know? Kind of like playing against your five-year-old niece in a board game," said a bemused member of the Polish team. To prepare for their new podium construction project, German athletes are reportedly assembling teams to design the “Olympus of Gold,” an elaborate structure that will not only hold medals but also feature LED lights, sound systems, and a festive fountain to make receiving awards more of a Broadway show than a podium ceremony. In a recent survey, competitors from other nations noted the resulting difficulty in determining which athletes should be honored for their achievements when “everyone is on the podium” attending award ceremonies on their very own “Goldenshow.” "I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to hand out medals like Halloween candy, would it?" mused one baffled American contender. As the Germans continue to sweep podiums, analysts are beginning to question whether they may eventually just retire the event altogether. "If things keep going this way, we might change the name to the ‘Bobsled World Championships of Germany,’” joked one observer. Meanwhile, organizers are contemplating whether to add a special “Spotlight Event”—an invitation only competition where German athletes compete only against each other, while the rest of the world watches in awe. The only real question left is how hotels will accommodate the numerous additional medals and whether a separate venue will be needed. As bobsled fever sweeps through the nation, one thing is clear: there’s no more space on the podium, but plenty of room for schnitzel celebrations and, of course, more championships ahead.