In a shocking turn of events, the world learned that George Foreman, the two-time heavyweight champion and renowned grill enthusiast, has passed away at the ripe age of 76. While the boxing community mourns the loss of a legend, the culinary world is left to wonder who will now carry on the legacy of perfectly seared hamburgers and squashed veggies. Foreman's journey from the boxing ring to the kitchen appliance market is one for the ages, proving that a man's fists can only take him so far before he must master the art of indoor grilling. After all, nothing says “heavyweight champ” quite like throwing down a few cheeseburgers in the comfort of your own living room—preferably while still wearing your boxing gloves for dramatic effect. Reclaiming his heavyweight title at age 46, Foreman demonstrated that age is merely a number, much like the number of grills he sold over the years: estimates put the figure somewhere in the “Why are there so many of these?” range. Critics said the only thing hotter than Foreman in the ring was the sizzle of his grill, which has been known to turn stray garden leaves into gourmet feasts faster than you can say “Lights out!” His ability to market himself as both a ferocious fighter and a culinary maven baffled psychologists. Some suggest it was his mastery of “grill marketing” strategies: “Knock ’em out and then cook ‘em up!” This unique duality fascinated fans and at least one person in every household who had ever purchased a lean-mean-grilling machine. After all, who couldn’t resist a promotional package featuring a fighter who was just as comfortable in the ring as he was singing the praises of fat-free burger-flipping goodness? As Foreman enters the great boxing ring in the sky, experts predict mall kiosk vendors across the nation will soon feel a profound absence in their hearts (and sales figures), struggling to find a new celebrity to peddle the wonders of cooking meat without the need for complex culinary training. Some are speculating a robot chef named “George Formoron” might take his place, which would probably struggle with basic grill techniques—all while requiring a programming update every time a new health trend emerges. In a rare statement, one of Foreman’s former rivals expressed, “I may have faced him in the ring, but it was the grill that ultimately knocked me out. Who knew I was up against the heavyweight of hamburgers? I demand a rematch!” Experts are still debating the logistics of such a match, as safety regulations prohibit throwing punches on a kitchen countertop, though some suggest entering a hot dog eating contest as an acceptable alternative. For now, as the smoky aromas of grilling waft through the heavens, we bid farewell to George Foreman, the man who taught us all that life is multi-faceted. It can include both the thrill of victory and the joy of grilled onions, reminding us that indeed, while age may be just a number, marketing genius is universal.