In a shocking twist of fate, global health funding has taken a turn for the worse, invoking cries of jubilation from epidemics everywhere. After all, who needs vaccines when you can embrace the nostalgia of a good old-fashioned epidemic? Health organizations are left scrambling for answers as countries rejoice in their newfound 'freedom' from supporting life-saving immunization initiatives. "Why waste money on vaccines when we could just let diseases run rampant and experience the thrill of an epidemic?" said one enthusiastic government official, clearly enraptured by the idea of hospital beds filled with the unvaccinated. "There's something so charming about spontaneous outbreaks—it's like throwing a party where everyone gets sick!" The World Health Organization has expressed its grave concerns about the state of vaccination programs, particularly the urgent need to protect children against measles. But onlookers from the donor funding circles are unfazed, with many exclaiming, “Let’s spice things up a bit! Who doesn't want to relive the excitement of a measles party?” "We're seeing a surge in creative budgeting," commented a UNICEF spokesperson. "It's like an extreme sport—largely unregulated, thrilling, and, unfortunately, with serious consequences. It’s bold to think that we can just halt immunization programs and watch as diseases come out of retirement. People love a good comeback story, especially when it's about illnesses.” In the spirit of innovation, a few countries are also considering crowdsourcing epidemics. Imagine rallying the community to endanger their loved ones voluntarily! “We’re calling it ‘Epidemic in a Box’—just buy a subscription and let the illnesses come to you! It’s a fun way to get involved,” an anonymous planner suggested. “We’ll supply the germs; you provide the panic!” Parents, whose children are now vacant of their routine vaccinations, have taken the news with mixed feelings. "It's like a thrilling ride at an amusement park!" exclaimed one mother. “Who knew we could turn waiting rooms into the hottest new hangouts? Just think about all the networking opportunities in the ER!” As the world eagerly anticipates the resurgence of diseases once thought vanquished, experts warn that this may not be the pathway to better global health. But for those who’ve missed out on the old school feel of epidemics, the silver lining is clear: masks and hand sanitizer might not be as chic as they used to be, but at least there’s more to talk about at cocktail parties. So, as funding for vaccines dwindles and history repeats itself, the new motto seems to echo: “In sickness and in health, let’s make epidemics great again!” The world holds its breath, excited for the viral comeback of the century.