In an unprecedented move that has sent shockwaves through both the healthcare and financial sectors, Reliance Industries is officially ditching its oil-rigging, petrochemical-shifting operations to dive headfirst into the chaotic world of scrubs and stethoscopes. The corporate behemoth is positioning itself as the new McDreamy of the healthcare industry—because what's more appealing than a billionaire in a lab coat? The company recently announced its ambitious plan to transform Reliance into a healthcare juggernaut, something akin to the Avengers, but with fewer superheroes and more pharmacists. Mukesh Ambani, the CEO and the primary face of the Reliance empire, was spotted sporting a lab coat at a press conference, and rumors suggest he’s practicing his bedside manner as we speak. "What do you mean my blood pressure is high? Have you seen my portfolio?" shouted a bewildered journalist trying to squeeze in a question about the stock market. As part of this radical transformation, Reliance Industries has acquired a series of hospitals and clinics, all under the slightly misleading title “Reliance Health: Invest in Your Body.” Word on the street is that patients may soon receive stock options as part of their treatment plans. Yes, you heard that right! A bold new initiative where every dose of medicine comes with the option to invest in the pharmaceutical company. Talk about feeling good all over! Increasing healthcare costs? Not on Reliance’s watch! Patients will soon be greeted with the company’s new slogan, “Sick Today, Rich Tomorrow,” as they are encouraged to gamble not just on their health but on their financial futures. Ambani himself chimed in, "Why pay for health insurance when you could roll the dice in the stock market and pray?" The company also unveiled plans to rebrand old hospital rooms into luxurious “wellness suites,” complete with gold-plated IV stands and complimentary stock market analysis with every surgery. If you’re going to have your gallbladder removed, you might as well do it in style—say, on a Tempur-Pedic bed while watching the latest Dow Jones ticks! In a forward-thinking strategy, Reliance has also launched the “Ambani Healthcare App,” where users can diagnose themselves. “You’ll be happy to know that all your symptoms can be interpreted as market trends!” the app proudly boasts. Feeling fatigued? That’s just your body’s stock dipping! Followed by an infomercial presenting their revolutionary new drug, "Billionaire Boost," which combines caffeine with the hope that you’ll become financially independent. Furthermore, Reliance plans to hire star doctors from Instagram to increase their social media appeal. These "influencer physicians" will provide followers with daily health tips—such as recommending expensive supplements that promise everything from glowing skin to fortune-telling. Call it a direct-to-consumer model where your vitamin choices double as your next investment picks. Critics have called this merger of healthcare and finance questionable at best, while supporters appear only to be excited about the prospect of attending annual shareholder meetings that will now feature a “best health tip” award. The winning tip? “Invest in your fitness—because you can’t earn dividends if you’re in a hospital gown!” In an age where everything is monetized, Reliance Industries has once again proven that no boundary is too sacred when it comes to capitalizing on market potential. As we all embrace the prospect of “scrubs to stocks,” remember to check your pulse before checking your portfolio—after all, in the world of billionaires, anything is possible as long as it pays off in the end!