In a troubling turn of events that has left residents of Down Under shaking their heads in disbelief, a grassroots movement named “Common Sense Before the Drain” is gaining traction in a nation tinkering on the precipice of utter lunacy. The movement is driven by citizens who have been alarmed, or perhaps merely entertained, by the series of baffling decisions made by various arms of government and the public at large that couldn’t possibly be more diabolically absurd if they were penned by a particularly cynical writer on a coffee break. At the heart of the campaign is the contentious reintroduction of the Australian Cuddle Duck, a rare species previously thought to be extinct until a series of bizarre tweets sighted by amateur ornithologists led to an entirely unnecessary nation-wide quest to find this 'endangered' creature. “I mean, we’ve already been through the Great Emu War. Do we really need to throw our resources at a duck?” lamented Barry Thorne, a concerned local whose primary issues revolve around traffic jams created by fruit bat crossings that now take up three city blocks. “Unbelievably, we’re banning plastic straws while the entire Great Barrier Reef is being bleached before our eyes. Banishing common sense is a national sport now!” opined an increasingly incredulous Lucy Henderson, a climate change activist who has taken it upon herself to walk her pet rock. “Don’t even get me started on the recent 'Shower During a Drought' campaign.” In a perplexing new initiative aimed at conserving water, the government has encouraged citizens to shower only when they can no longer stand the stench of their own neglect. “The farce of conservation has truly hit rock bottom when the slogan involves wearing the same outfit for a week and considering ‘natural musk’ a scent to be celebrated,” Henderson added, while gesturing to a poster featuring a cartoon kangaroo giving a thumbs-up amidst a backdrop of parched earth. The movement gained momentum on social media, where hashtags such as #DuckYouCuddle and #NotThatShowerChallenge trended alongside bewildering stories of citizens inadvertently bathing in the ocean to circumvent domestic water constraints. National television networks scrambled to feature the plight of confused surfers unsure if they should ride the waves or swim with the ducks now crossing the coastline. Meanwhile, schools nationwide have started teaching a new subject: “Sensible Decisions 101,” which focuses on choosing between sandwich fillings, as well as training in how to say “No” to government projects that are about as useful as a chocolate teapot in a bushfire. Educational authorities have begun replacing history lessons with a focus on recent events labeled “The Age of Absurdity,” with a curriculum that could leave even the most steadfast optimist questioning their worldview. As citizens continue to rally for common sense, local businesses have begun capitalizing on the absurdity with merchandise like “I Survived the Cuddle Duck Hunt” T-shirts and “Drought-Proof Shower Caps,” a product so useless it has become their top seller. In a plea destined to leave farcical prints on the pages of history, authorities are now quoted saying, “We ask for a return to civility and common sense in our daily lives—that is, until the next kooky policy decision makes headlines.” As the aisles of the nation’s supermarkets filled not just with food but with the remnants of a confused society, the question remains: Can a country truly sink into the drains of absurdity, or will the rallying cry for common sense save them all before they find themselves swimming with the ducks? Only time will tell.