Title: French Cyclist Fakes Illness to Avoid Family Reunion, Ends Up Winning Paris-Roubaix Instead Roubaix, France - In what experts are calling a "twist of fate" and "unbelievably convenient," Pauline Ferrand-Prévôt managed to dodge an impending family reunion by miraculously winning the Paris-Roubaix women's race despite being "sick." Sources close to the cyclist report that her supposed illness included symptoms such as a severe aversion to awkward small talk and a sudden, overwhelming desire to avoid her great aunt's potato salad. While most athletes use training camps to prepare for prestigious events, Ferrand-Prévôt was seen preparing her "sick face" the night before the race as she received sympathetic texts from friends eager to hear about her escape from the annual family gathering. "Just pretend you're unwell, and your family will rally around you," a close confidant allegedly advised her after experiencing a similar situation last year. Not one for the usual protocol, Ferrand-Prévôt turned her alleged illness into an opportunity for personal glory, launching into a solo breakaway that would lead her to claim victory and instantly transform her family’s plans. “I’m super happy but I don’t realize it yet,” she exclaimed on the podium, clearly already envisioning her new role as the family hero—not for winning a massive cycling event, but for single-handedly preserving everyone from enduring Aunt Gertrude's casserole mystery. Witnesses reported that Ferrand-Prévôt's solo victory lap was less about glory and more about urgently finding a taxi to the nearest hospital, where she planned to get an IV drip and a quick exit strategy to avoid the reunion altogether. As she celebrated at the finish line, rumors swirled that she was already on the phone convincing her family that her victory party was a very valid reason not to show up for the family dinner. “Honestly, who wants to sit through three hours of awkward questions and stilted conversations about the weather?” she tweeted later. “I’d take the cobblestones over Aunt Mildred’s stories any day!” In what could only be described as an epic life hack, Ferrand-Prévôt has proven that while cycling titles are coveted, dodging family reunions is truly a gold medal-worthy achievement. It's a win-win situation, really—she gets her prestigious title, and the family gets to enjoy potato salad in peace for another year.