Fraport, the operator of Frankfurt Airport, proudly announced that its core profits have more than doubled in the first quarter, largely attributing this success to the desperation of travelers who simply can't wait to pay for exorbitant luggage fees and experience the charm of flight delays once again. The group, which operates at 28 airports globally, has been astounded by the millions of travelers craving the sweet nostalgia of lost and damaged luggage and sweaty, overcrowded waiting areas. The eagerness to return to a life where people spend hours queuing up at security checks and removing their shoes in public has put the cherry on top of their pre-pandemic memories. "It's incredible. We never thought people would be so eager to return to this level of inconvenience," said a spokesperson from Fraport. "We considered lowering our fees and streamlining the process to accommodate these trying times, but we quickly realized that getting nickel and dimed and fighting over armrests is exactly what the public has been missing!" In response to this astounding revelation, Fraport is reportedly debating whether to reintroduce further 'traditional' airport experiences, such as broken self-check-in machines and misleading signage that will confound and frustrate travelers just like in the good old pre-pandemic days. "Our revenue has increased significantly," the spokesperson continued with a hint of pride, "and we couldn't have done it without our customers' willingness to suffer for the sake of the authentic travel experience." While Fraport's earnings before interest, taxation, depreciation, and amortization rose to €158.3 million ($175.4 million) in the first quarter, from €70.7 million a year earlier, it was still 21% below the pre-pandemic 2019 figure. However, this is expected to change as the travel industry prepares for a surge of misty-eyed passengers keen to relive the golden days of liquid restrictions and missing gate information. Several airlines have seen the success of Fraport and are rumored to be considering the introduction of new, yet nostalgic, inconvenience packages for their passengers, such as reducing legroom to historically remarkable levels and reintroducing the notorious middle seats for those who yearn for the cramped sensation of long-haul flights in the before times. It seems that no matter how much people complain about airports and airlines, they simply can't get enough of the exhilarating rollercoaster ride that is modern travel. In a world that needs some normalcy, the stress, despair, and financial drain of air travel are providing passengers with a much-needed dose of familiarity.