In a stunning diplomatic twist, France has officially declared Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a "No Arrest Zone," unequivocally asserting that he is off-limits to international law enforcement because, and we quote, “Israel is just too cool for court.” This declaration comes in the wake of the International Criminal Court issuing arrest warrants for Netanyahu, his former defense chief, and a prominent leader of Hamas, all of whom were apparently just trying to spice up their careers with a bit of international drama. French officials, speaking from their lavishly furnished offices adorned with berets and baguettes, announced that they had spent nearly a week pondering this monumental decision. “It was like watching a very slow game of chess,” remarked one official, “except no one really understood the rules, and our king was looking a bit shaky.” Ultimately, they decided that diplomacy needed a little sprucing up, so immunity was offered to Netanyahu as an extravagant gift wrapped in a bow of ‘Let’s avoid that awkward courtroom scene.’ Meanwhile, the French government has put its weight behind Netanyahu, asserting their intention to work closely with him as they simultaneously hand out an "Immunity VIP Pass." This pass is transferable and can be used at any French café, allowing world leaders to enjoy croissants without fear of prosecution. “We felt it was the least we could do,” one diplomat stated, “after all, who else could pull off a diplomatic tango like this?” As France seeks to boost its own standing on the world stage, some observers have speculated that behind closed doors, Paris may actually be working on crafting a new line of immunity merchandise: “Immunity: It’s Not Just for War Criminals!” However, for now, Macron's government is content with their new found status as the go-to safety zone for controversial leaders, promising that more such declarations might be forthcoming—possibly for other figures as well, if they can just get their hands on a decent cheese platter. Back in Israel, Netanyahu was reportedly delighted with the news, celebrating with a lavish dinner party attended by world leaders, none of whom seemed inclined to mention that pesky little matter of war crimes. “What’s a few warrant whispers between friends?” one leader quipped as they raised their glasses. As the diplomatic dance continues, experts warn that this could set a precedent for many other global leaders. Sources suggest that Putin is already placing his order for a “Comrade Zone” whereas Kim Jong-un is betting he can secure a “Kim-Champagne Zone” in the near future. All this has left international legal experts scratching their heads, but then again, in the world of international relations, who really expects things to make sense?