In a stunning turn of events, FlyNYON, a New York-based helicopter tour company known for its breathtaking aerial views, has announced an intriguing, albeit somewhat morbid, promotional campaign. Just days after a tragic helicopter crash claimed the lives of six individuals, FlyNYON has rolled out its latest offering: "Bonus Crash Discounts." The audacious marketing strategy invites thrill-seekers to enjoy the skyline of Manhattan at unbeatable prices, paired with a promise of a discount for those feeling "particularly adventurous." Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, who has been a vocal critic of the move, stated, "It's simply outrageous! It's like selling discount parachutes after a skydiving accident. What's next? Bungee jumping lessons after a fall?” At the heart of the promotion is the now-infamous "If You Survive It, You Save It" policy, which guarantees a refund of 50% on the tour price to anyone who can take a selfie while in-flight and make it back to solid ground. Schumer raised concerns that the marketing angle trivializes serious safety protocols, remarking, "This is not a game. We're talking about lives here, not an amusement park!” FlyNYON representatives, undeterred by the backlash, appeared on morning talk shows to defend the promotion, emphasizing that “in aviation, risk is part of the package. Why not embrace your inner daredevil and save some cash?” A spokesperson added, "We're just offering a once-in-a-lifetime adventure at a fraction of the price—literally, if luck isn’t on your side!” In an attempt to further sweeten the deal, FlyNYON has now introduced the “Wingman Wager,” where customers can choose to buddy up with an experienced pilot. If the pilot cannot deliver a smooth ride, the customer is entitled to the infamous “Jim’s Promise”—a completely free helicopter ride if they “survive” the experience. In a bold display of confidence, management stated, “We’re fully prepared because all our pilots are trained in crisis management…from 48 previous flights!” Participants in the new tour option are warned with jokingly enthusiastic disclaimers: "Warning: this experience may result in thrilling vistas, unforeseen turbulence, and the occasional sensation of existential dread!" Tourists are also encouraged to report back with ratings on personal comfort levels, with categories including "Screaming" to "Cognitive Dissonance." Meanwhile, the public remains divided over the ethics of the promotion. Critics argue that it capitalizes on tragedy, while others suggest this may be exactly the kind of boldness New Yorkers have come to expect. One potential customer on the street coined the phrase, “You could say it’s quite literally uplifting… just with a twist of irony!” As of now, the FlyNYON "Bonus Crash Discounts" remain in full swing, complete with limited-edition T-shirts that read, “I survived FlyNYON — and all I got was this lousy shirt!” It seems it’s time for New Yorkers to decide just how far they’re willing to go for a selfie from the sky.