WILKES COUNTY, NC – What was meant to be a normal, dry safety briefing from the fire marshal of Wilkes County in North Carolina, took an unexpected blaze of interest, sparking off an inferno of impassioned comments from the jolly citizens of this 'City of Friendly People.' Apparently, the fire marshal, one Ed ‘Hotpants’ Harris, decided to host a routine fire safety talk at the Wilkes County Playhouse. Where his usual audience consists of three indifferent public servants and a bunch of drowsy school children awaiting the end of yet another torturous assembly, he found a particularly ignited crowd this time. Harris, known usually for his dry safety speeches which according to one resident are "more effective than sleeping pills without any side effects", decided to stir the pot a little, making folks sit up and take notice. He began his talk by demonstrating how quickly a small flame could turn into a major rager, while also promising that the blaze of his speech today wouldn't be causing any premature evacuation. Harris ventured off the fire safety script, injecting his speech with hot comments about local politics, barbeque techniques, and even the rivalry between the local high school football teams. His liberal use of fire metaphors left many wondering if the fire marshal had been hitting the moonshine or if his fire truck had been struck by a lightning bolt of wit. His joke about how the local council was "about as useful as a chocolate fire-guard" had even the notoriously humorless mayor chuckling into her mayoral sash. The infamous on-going feud between the BBQ pitmasters of Wilkes County found a new flavor as Harris dropped the zinger, “let me be clear, the only thing more dangerous than a gas leak in this town is a debate about pulled pork versus brisket.” His gentle roasting of the Wilkes Tigers and Wilkes Central Eagles teams almost led to a playful scuffle, defused by the comically threatening use of his fire extinguisher. In a county where the most exciting event is usually the annual bake-off, the fire marshal has ignited a spark of new life. When asked for his thoughts on the unforeseen popularity, Harris displayed his characteristic humility. "I was just doing my job, adding a little lighter fluid to a usually dry day." When the dust cleared and the last laugh whistled out, it was clear that Fire Marshal Ed "Hotpants" Harris's cheeky commentary had left a mark, making this not only the most attended briefing by the fire marshal's office on record, but also the most entertaining event Wilkes County has seen since Grandma Johnson's infamous moonshine explosion of 2003. As of now, people of Wilkes County increasingly find themselves asking, "Who needs Netflix when you have Fire Marshal 'Hotpants' Harris?" Here’s to more gut-busting blazes in the future! Until then, stay safe, and keep your wits sharper than your fire poker; advice straight from the mouth of our newfound local comedian and fire safety advocate.