In a groundbreaking move, Finland has once again been crowned the "Happiest Country in the World," prompting other nations to consider a revolutionary concept: the Happiness Tax. Amid discussions of budget deficits and economic recovery, leaders worldwide are now proposing a tax policy aimed not at boosting revenue, but at ensuring their citizens are a bit more cheerful—like, say, permanently happy. "We're tired of chasing economic growth," said an upbeat spokesperson from the United States Treasury. "Instead, why not tax our citizens based on how happy they are? If Finland can sit atop the happiness leaderboard, then surely we can too. We just need to shift our focus from GDP to GHP—Gross Happiness Product!" While officials scramble to devise the specifics of this new levy, early ideas include taxing individuals based on their Netflix binge-watching habits—presumably, people who spend over five hours a day in a blissful haze of escapism will incur a heftier tax. Additionally, anyone spotted smiling in public for longer than ten seconds may find themselves subject to a hefty surcharge. "Imagine it: smile extensions, joy workshops, and mandatory yoga classes," said a representative from the UK, currently considering adopting Finland-like initiatives. “We’ll even have a Happiness Patrol to ensure compliance, complete with cheerful uniforms and mandatory hug quotas. It’s foolproof!” Nordic countries like Denmark, Iceland, Norway, and Sweden—who have also ranked high on the happiness scale—are already raising eyebrows with their own plans. Denmark has proposed a “Lego Tax,” where citizens must contribute to a fund for national stability with every set they buy. And Sweden has been keen on promoting a “Fika Tax,” encouraging coffee breaks heavy enough to warrant a tax refund if they meet specific happiness benchmarks. Opposition parties in various countries are already decrying the Happiness Tax as dystopic, with critics arguing that true happiness can't be measured, let alone taxed. But proponents remain optimistic, riffing off Finnish culture to draw parallels between enjoying a sauna and taxing joy. "If you can't sweat it out, tax it out!" exclaimed one of the architects of the policy. Meanwhile, Finland's government appears nonchalant about the wave of interest it has sparked—after all, actual contentment gives them time to sip coffee and enjoy the details of their meticulously maintained social systems. "We accept any proceeds from these taxes graciously," commented a Finnish official, “but please, don’t take our coffee breaks. That’s where we draw the line.” As nations around the globe race to introduce their versions of the Happiness Tax, citizens can only wait and see if they’ll find themselves paying up for feeling too darn good.