In a shocking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political landscape, FEMA Administrator Deanne Criswell has boldly declared that Donald Trump's claims about Hurricane Helene disaster relief funding are as compatible as oil and water—completely unmixable! During a recent press briefing, Criswell didn't just tiptoe around the truth—she did a full-on cannonball into the pool of facts, splashing everyone in attendance with the refreshing reality of disaster management. "It's frankly ridiculous and just plain false," Criswell exclaimed, her eyes narrowing as she recounted Trump's latest assertions regarding the hurricane recovery efforts. Experts in the field of political absurdity were quick to weigh in. “We’ve seen a lot of strange things in politics,” said an unnamed analyst. “But claiming federal disaster relief funds are somehow dependent on who is in the Oval Office? That takes the cake—or maybe it’s more of a pie-in-the-sky dessert.” Insiders suggest that Criswell’s remarks may have sparked a new trend in political discourse: natural disaster comparisons. Conversations on Capitol Hill have reportedly shifted from climate change and infrastructure to debating which former president's policies regarding the weather are most absurd. A heated discussion allegedly broke out over whether Trump's silvery toupee could withstand a hurricane’s winds better than Biden’s aviator sunglasses could withstand the glare of conspiracy theories. In a parallel universe, a spokesperson for former President Trump responded to Criswell with a flamboyant statement that seemed lifted directly from a bad reality TV show script. "Hurricane Helene? More like Hurricane Helene-ous! The only thing less believable than her claims is the idea that we could ever just mix oil with water—even with a blender!” Meanwhile, meteorologists have expressed confusion over the sudden rise of political meteorology, a new field dedicated to predicting storm-related scandals rather than actual weather events. “We don’t know if we should be monitoring hurricane paths or the paths of political statements—it's a mess we genuinely didn’t expect,” said a lead meteorologist, shaking his head in disbelief. Criswell’s pointed comments have also sparked a social media trend, with users posting images of oil and water being poured side by side, captioned with a barrage of hashtags such as #MixItUp and #HurricaneRealityCheck. Analysts have called it the most popular educational meme since "Kowalewski's Law of Unmixable Arguments." As the nation braces for both the next hurricane season and what could be an influx of viral political misinformation, one thing is clear: oil and water may not mix, but Criswell and the truth are determined to stay afloat—no matter how turbulent the waters ahead become.