Europe Shocked to Discover That AI Isn't Just a Fancy Acronym for 'Absolutely Ignored'! In a recent revelation that has left political leaders across Europe grappling with their morning espressos, it turns out that AI—an acronym once dismissed as merely 'Absolutely Ignored'—actually stands for something a bit more innovative. European heads are reportedly "shocked" to learn that artificial intelligence might actually help the continent reclaim its once-coveted title of global leadership, and not just in the realm of pastry making and bureaucracy. "This is more than a wake-up call; this is a slap in our face," exclaimed Christian Miele, a venture capitalist who witnesses his dreams of investment taking flight with French AI firm Mistral. Miele, who is apparently both an optimist and a masochist, is hoping to ride Europe's new AI wave instead of getting left behind like an outdated fax machine. Prominent figures like Ursula von der Leyen, President of the European Commission, have been confidently talking up the EU's aspirations to become the leader of AI innovation. "We are committed to getting ahead in AI, just as soon as we figure out what AI actually is," she has reportedly stated, while twirling her hair and staring longingly at the latest smartphone with a chip in it. Meanwhile, the European Union's ambitious plans seem to hinge on hoping that the rest of the world doesn’t notice how far behind they are. "We're not worried," said a top official while enthusiastically Googling “How to catch up in tech” in front of a packed press room. "We have many resources! Like... meetings!" Reports from within the EU indicate frantic brainstorming sessions are underway to figure out how to actually harness AI, leading many to wonder if there’s some mystical artifact they can find to make it happen; rumors of a 'Magic 8-Ball' being consulted at these meetings swirl. Several companies are jumping on this newfound interest, as tech startups across Europe are racing to outdo one another with catchy acronyms and the latest buzzwords. Industry insiders are dubbing it the “AI Arm’s Race,” where everyone's looking to become the next TikTok—except with slightly less danceability. With the clock ticking down to their next high-profile summit, European leaders are reportedly in a frenzy, trying to milk this "wake-up call" for all its worth. "If we get enough press coverage about how dedicated we are to AI, maybe no one will remember we’ve been 'absolutely ignoring' our tech sector for the past decade!" said one high-ranking official who wished to remain anonymous but was wearing a t-shirt that read “AI Today, Jobs Tomorrow.” As political leaders attempt to distill AI down to an actionable plan that might involve more than just giving old computers shiny new stickers, tech experts are cautiously optimistic. Miele added, “We have a shot at innovation… or at least, a minor reboot. Either would be an upgrade.” So, as Europe prepares for its grand AI transformation, one can only hope that this isn't just another episode of “Hollow Promises: European Edition.” Only time will tell if they can turn this revelation into a revolution—or if it's back to the drawing board, armed with little more than a vague understanding of what the 'A' in AI really represents.