In a thrilling display of “We’ll take any win we can get,” England’s Women’s T20 team stomped their way through their opener against Bangladesh in what can only be described as a masterclass in winning ugly. The highly anticipated clash in Sharjah saw England put up a dazzling total of 118-7—more reminiscent of a Sunday league match than a World Cup opener—before expertly squeezing the life out of Bangladesh’s hopes, defending this modest score with the grace of a catwalk model tripping over her own heels. As the sun beat down mercilessly on what was lovingly referred to as “The Sluggish Pitch,” both teams appeared to be in a race: the question was, who could score the least runs? Bangladesh, showcasing their unrivaled strategy of cautious defense, stumbled to a disappointing 97-7, making England’s not-so-inspiring total look almost like a towering achievement in the world of T20 cricket. It was a game of cricket but also a masterclass in how to run down the clock and take your sweet time about it. Linsey Smith and Charlie Dean—otherwise known as the spin twins—claimed two wickets each, spinning their way into the hearts of fans who were desperately trying to stay awake. While the bowlers danced with glee, Bangladesh's batters played an epic game of “How Low Can You Go?”, crawling their way to a score that had spectators wondering if a power outage might be the team’s true strategy. Meanwhile, England's batting lineup reminded everyone that hitting boundaries is an optional guideline rather than a necessity. Danni Wyatt-Hodge, the top-scorer for England, finished with a staggering 34 runs, leaving fans pondering whether to send a marriage proposal or just a "well done” card. It was a performance worthy of an after-party at a library rather than a cricket stadium, with the game reflecting more of a chess match than the fast-paced excitement expected from the T20 format. Post-match interviews revealed that coach Heather Knight was ecstatic about the win, exclaiming, “A win is a win, and if it’s not pretty, that just adds character, right? Besides, why make it look easy when we can make it a nail-biter? We’re building suspense for the next game!” Fans were buzzing with excitement, albeit with a sprinkle of sarcasm, as they left the stadium pondering whether they had just witnessed a T20 match-up or a particularly slow episode of a cooking show where everything unfolds at a hilariously lackadaisical pace. In summary, England’s victory against Bangladesh may not hit the highlight reels anytime soon, but it certainly added a new layer to the concept of “winning ugly”—a strategy that might just catch on in future tournaments.