In a groundbreaking initiative that promises to take the edge off our impending environmental doom, local mental health professionals have announced the launch of "Eco-Anxiety Support Group Therapy: Where Our Tears Are as Real as the Polar Ice Caps Melting." This new group aims to unite individuals grappling with the anxiety of watching the world slowly perish while the rest of society continues to argue over which single-use plastic is the best for wrapping their avocado toast. Participants can expect to dive headfirst into a sea of despair, as members share their creative coping mechanisms—like crocheting reusable grocery bags or giving up their cars for spiritually enlightened bike rides that end in profound existential crises. Sessions will be juxtaposed with mindfulness exercises centered around deep breathing—perfect for when you realize coal mining just increased in your state. The meetings will take place in a converted shed, dubbed "The Sanctum of Sorrow," wherein participants can wallow in their collective dread, while seated on bean bags filled with organic cotton grown in eco-friendly farms. One of the group’s organizers proudly stated, “There’s something powerful about sharing our fear of the rising sea levels while also trying to remember what it felt like to hug a tree. It’s like group therapy, but with more anxiety and a distinct scent of despair.” As an added bonus for those still clinging to the hope of saving humanity, attendees will receive a complimentary ‘Climate Change Survival Kit,’ which includes a candle made from beeswax harvested only after the demise of its original colony (to really get in touch with our role in the ecosystem), a reusable straw made from recycled despair, and a heartfelt note of nihilism from therapist Dr. Woe Is Me, who advises on holistic solutions to emotional upheaval. Participants are encouraged to bring their own snacks, preferably organic and vegan, to ensure that they can experience guilt while simultaneously consuming their feelings, alongside a rotating selection of gluten-free, cruelty-free, and existentially dread-free options. Refreshments will include a herbal tea brewed from ethically sourced herbs, as well as an option for sweetened despair with a hint of climate guilt. Despite initial skepticism about spending quality time talking about the end of the world, early feedback indicates participants feel markedly better after acknowledging the futility of their efforts. “I used to feel isolated in my worries, but here I can embrace the absurdity of it all surrounded by people just as unhappy as I am,” said attendee Jenna Greenfield, who added, “Plus, the snacks are pretty good!” With climate anxiety threatening to spiral into a full-blown emotional meltdown, the Eco-Anxiety Support Group Therapy is hastily becoming the go-to place for anyone who prefers wallowing collectively in their dread rather than, you know, enjoying life. Members are encouraged to invite their friends, but only if they are equipped with their own emotional baggage to ensure a rich tapestry of collective pessimism. As the planet continues to heat up at a pace that makes most human worries seem quaint, the hope is that this movement will catch on globally. After all, nothing says "we're all in this together" quite like sharing a circle of despair while sipping on sustainably sourced herbal tea, fueled by an all-consuming fear of being alive in today’s world. So, bring your worries, leave your optimism at the door, and let the emotional meltdown begin!