OXON HILL, Md. – In a shocking display of political enthusiasm, billionaire Elon Musk stormed onto the stage at a conservative gathering, chainsaw in hand and a wild glint in his eye, promising to “hack away” at federal bureaucracy like it was an overgrown hedge. The crowd erupted in cheers as Musk declared, “If it’s not electric or efficient, we’re trimming it off!” Musk, who has taken up the mantle of both tech innovator and self-appointed political savior, addressed a mixed bag of enthusiastic supporters and confused onlookers with promises to audit the Federal Reserve – which he insists has been mismanaged like a 1990s video game – and accused the Democrats of "treason," specifically in their budgeting skills. “I mean, have you seen the numbers?” Musk exclaimed, gesturing theatrically. “It’s like they’re playing Monopoly without any houses!” While revving his chainsaw for dramatic effect, Musk outlined his ambitious plans for the future, which include replacing the federal workforce with autonomous robots that he assures “are much better at managing budgets than Democrats.” He went on to assure the audience that those concerned about job losses should not worry because “think of the opportunities! These machines need maintenance operators – and who knows more about fixing things than the very people who buy my cars?” Continuing his impromptu manifesto, Musk unveiled his vision for the Department of Government Efficiency, describing it as a bold initiative to ‘upgrade’ government to “multi-core processing” and eliminate all “legacy code” – which he admitted, may or may not include members of Congress. He humorously reminisced about his own dealings with bureaucracy, sharing a story of how it took him three weeks to release a new app because “the government – which is ironically a slow app itself – had to approve it first.” Musk’s speech also touched upon his love for the environment, adding that with all the chainsawing, he’d be planting three trees for every branch he sawed off. “We’ll have electric chainsaws, of course,” he added, “And solar-powered ones for those tough-to-reach areas. It's the green way to cut the waste!” As he concluded his performance, Musk encouraged the crowd to join him in a grassroots movement to “clean house” in Washington. “Join me in this revolution,” he said, revving his chainsaw one last time. “Together, we can turn the government from a lumbering dinosaur into a sleek, electric alligator. Or at the very least, a slightly more efficient velociraptor.” With chants of “Trim it down!” echoing in the hall, Musk left the stage, chainsaw held high, while spectators scrambled to snap selfies with the controversial mogul who blurs the lines between tech, business, and a very Hollywood version of politics. As the applause faded, one attendee summed up the sentiment: “This is the type of politics we need – loud and cutting!”