In a stunning display of civic engagement, citizens across the nation gathered yesterday for the "Down Under Democracy" rally, where the primary agenda seemed to be an extravagant display of enthusiasm for collective amnesia. Thousands donned ridiculously oversized hats emblazoned with slogans like "Democracy is Dead, Long Live Whatever This Is!" and "Remember to Forget!" as they marched from the iconic Confusion Square to the Shrine of Oblivion. The most remarkable aspect of the event? Very few attendees could pinpoint what the actual cause was. When asked, most participants simply shrugged and gave vague answers about "preserving our right to not remember." Jenny, a self-proclaimed “memory abolitionist,” expressed her joy at the event. "We're fighting for the freedom to forget whatever this is about!" she shouted, amid a chorus of nodding heads and sporadic bouts of cheerful confusion. Lead organizer Ned Blunder, known for his unintentional charisma and perpetual state of bewilderment, took to the stage, addressed the crowd with remarkable enthusiasm, but also a stunning lack of clarity. “We’re here to make a statement, or perhaps we’re here to un-make one! Why bother remembering things when forgetting is so much more liberating?” he enthused, as a group of attendees accidentally began a conga line that wandered off towards a nearby café, seemingly in search of snacks instead of clarity. Amidst the fluff, a live band, The Amnesiacs, played catchy songs with lyrics that were hilariously nonsensical. Their hit single, “What Are We Singing About Again?” topped the charts of confusion, with festival-goers swaying like marionettes on strings pulled by collective forgetfulness. Reports suggest that at least five people attempted to start a mosh pit in honor of not knowing, leading to a brief but spirited dance-off over who could forget their embarrassment the quickest. The rally also featured an array of booths offering “Forget-Me-Not” bracelets, which were pitched to help wearers conveniently forget all their responsibilities. Marvelling at the irony, one vendor explained, “You can forget all about your student loans or that awkward ex! Just wear this fashionable piece of nothingness to signal your unambitious defiance!” The highlights of the day included the “Memory Eraser Contest,” where contestants competed to erase the most embarrassing moments from their lives in under a minute, using only props like foam hammers and inflatable rubber ducks. “I’m proud to say I completely forgot how to ride a bike,” shared one participant, to roaring applause. “Or maybe I just never learned in the first place!” As dusk settled over the festivities, a closing ceremony dubbed "A Fond Farewell to Whatever We Were Talking About" had attendees exchanging blank notebooks, promising to fill them with non-memories that would never exist. Balloons shaped like lost thoughts filled the sky, symbolizing hopes that eventually every participant would forget the entire event until the next annual rally, which, ironically, no one would remember to attend. In a society where amnesia is the new black, “Down Under Democracy” proved one thing above all else: in the grand scheme of things, forgetting is truly the essence of freedom—much like the essence of public gatherings, which, understandably, left everyone a little confused but a whole lot happier.