In a shocking new survey conducted by the esteemed Institute of Regional Awareness (IRA), Philadelphia has been crowned “Only *Mostly* Famous” in the great state of South Dakota. The results, which have left historians and residents alike baffled, reveal that while everyone in South Dakota has heard of Philadelphia, very few can name a single cheesesteak joint, statue of Rocky, or even the city's legendary Liberty Bell—much to the dismay of any self-proclaimed Philadelphia enthusiasts in the Great Plains. "We honestly thought it would be Minnesotans or Montanans who could claim the title of ‘Most Ignorant About Philadelphia,’ but it turns out we have an unexpected frontrunner,” said Gerald “Ger” Kimmel, director of the IRA. "When we asked residents to list famous cities, Philly often gets a nod, right after 'that big one with Mount Rushmore'—but information quickly deteriorates from there." Residents of South Dakota were initially excited to participate in the survey, but their spirits dampened noticeably the instant they were asked if they had ever experienced the famed ‘Philly Special,’ a local delicacy featuring a cheesesteak served with a side of existential dread. The typical response was an awkward silence followed by an enthusiastic mention of “Buffalo Wings,” which, ironically, has nothing to do with either city. Local café owner Joyce Butterfield claimed she has heard of Philadelphia because her cousin Todd once visited and came back raving about the city. “He said it was beautiful, but he couldn’t stop complaining about the parking!” she recalled, shaking her head, “I’d rather have a pie from the local diner than take my chances in city traffic." In a surprising twist of fate, it seems that even Philadelphia-based sports teams have been made aware of their newfound fame in South Dakota. During a recent press conference, Eagles coach Nick Sirianni commented, “Honestly, we didn’t know ‘mostly famous’ was a thing, but I’m happy to be up against South Dakota. Hopefully, they’ll watch our games while eating a nice hoagie, even if they don’t know what we mean by ‘cheesesteak.’” Meanwhile, local officials have taken action in response to the study results. South Dakota’s Governor Kristi Noem is advocating for a "Philly Awareness Month." “We may not know much about their soft pretzels, but we do need to learn the difference between a scrapple sandwich and our beloved fry bread!” she declared during an impromptu press conference, “And if they can’t appreciate our regional delicacies, they at least need to know we are better at grilling meats and avoiding cheese curds!” To encourage local Philly bonds, South Dakota has decided to host the “First Annual Mostly Famous Hoagie Fest,” promising free shipping of actual cheesesteaks from anyone willing to trek the long, nine-hour drive from the Keystone State. Organizers are hopeful that the smell of delicious cheese will float all the way to Mount Rushmore, attracting curious tourists who might confuse the iconic faces of Presidents with the much-less-famous but equally beloved cheesesteak-loving citizens of Philadelphia. As the joke goes, Philadelphia is “Mostly Famous” for being the place that produces legendary sports fans who can critique your meatball sub while passionately loving the Eagles, and now it has a charming niche status in South Dakota—a land where knowing nothing about Philly is like a rite of passage. In conclusion, thanks to the quirky blending of geography and ignorance, Philadelphia remains “Only *Mostly* Famous” in South Dakota, ensuring that both regions will forever challenge each other’s culinary reputations while boosting the country’s collective sense of regional pride. And hey, at least they both have a version of “the best sandwich,” right?