In a stunning announcement that left economists scratching their heads and Twitter users eagerly awaiting the latest meme, President Trump officially declared a "Digital Duel" on foreign nations taxing his beloved Twitter feed. "No longer will I stand idly by while other countries siphon off my tweets for their own gain!" he proclaimed, flanked by a bewildered collection of social media experts and confused cabinet members. Sources close to the Oval Office reveal that Trump's rationale for imposing tariffs on countries with digital service taxes stems from a deep-seated belief that tweets are a form of American sovereignty. “The only taxes that should be levied on tweets are the ones I authorize,” Trump reportedly told aides, while browsing a particularly viral thread about his golf game. The memorandum Trump plans to sign purportedly outlines a detailed action plan, including "social media sanctions," which could involve slapping hefty tariffs on countries that dare to tax the digital juggernaut that is his Twitter account. "These are unfair practices," Trump insisted. "How can a country that can't even handle its own hashtags tax me for my brilliance? It’s a disgrace!" As if sensing the impending international fallout, certain officials at the State Department were seen preparing for future diplomatic negotiations by practicing their best "Twitter diplomacy" tactics. They are now proficient in crafting tweets full of half-hearted emojis and exclamation marks in hopes of luring countries to reconsider their digital taxes. "Please don’t make us turn this into a TikTok challenge," one staff member was overheard lamenting. While economists warn that this trade war could lead to chaos in tech markets, the White House remains focused on what they term “the bigger picture.” “My tweets are like exports. They bring joy and controversy across the globe! They should be treated with the respect they deserve,” Trump declared, showcasing a PowerPoint presentation with the tagline "Make Tweets Great Again." Meanwhile, countries such as France and the UK are reportedly considering retaliatory measures that involve their own unique social media taxes. Rumor has it that the EU may initiate a Euro version of @realDonaldTrump, wherein tweets would not only attract taxes but fines based on the number of retweets received. In what many are calling the most bizarre episode of geo-political maneuvering, the world watched as President Trump outlined a potential plan to offer digital incentives, proposing that foreign nations could dodge tariffs simply by liking and sharing his tweets. “Just imagine, a world where everyone’s on my timeline and no one is taxed! This is the future!” he exclaimed, grinning as flashing bluebirds surrounded him. As the dust settles from this unprecedented digital skirmish, one thing is clear: the battlefield of social media is about to get much weirder, and the tweets shall continue to fly—tax-free, at least for now.