In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump has unveiled an unexpected ‘Policy Page’ for Vice President Kamala Harris, just weeks after she declared her candidacy for the 2024 presidential race. Reportedly, this initiative stems from a profound sense of urgency—or perhaps mild amusement—that the Harris campaign has yet to disclose an official policy platform on her own website. “Desperate times call for desperate measures,” said a spokesperson for Trump, while simultaneously adding, “And, frankly, we just got tired of waiting.” The Trump campaign claims the website aims to provide much-needed clarity in an otherwise foggy political landscape. The new site, cleverly titled “Kamala's Policies (That She Forgot To List),” includes a comprehensive list of policies—most of which were created by the Trump team after a two-hour brainstorming session. Topping the list is “Using Your Own Words,” a tribute to Harris’s penchant for quotes that have often left audiences puzzled. Other “policies” include a commitment to “Being Assertive with Open Mic Night,” where the Vice President can finally showcase her stand-up comedy skills. A section entitled “Free Ice Cream for All!” addresses some of the more whimsical promises that have circulated social media but have never really gained traction in the real world. While traditional political etiquette dictates that campaigns should focus on their own platforms, the Trump campaign is clearly forging new ground in political warfare. “We like to think of it as civic service. Who wouldn’t want a handy guide to what their opponents are up to?” chimed in a Trump official as they replied to cringed laughter from onlookers. Political observers have since pointed out the absurdity of the whole affair, with one noted commentator suggesting, “This is like watching your dad drop you off at school but also signing up to be your substitute teacher — it’s weird and probably not appropriate, but hey, at least they finally made a lunch plan!” Regrettably for the Trump campaign, the ‘Policy Page’ seems to have reignited the debate on whether or not Harris actually has any coherent policies to share. Harris, responding through a campaign spokesperson, said, “I appreciate Mr. Trump’s well-meaning attempt to do my job, but I’d like to emphasize that I can handle my own policy-making—thank you very much!” While the digital world is abuzz with memes and mockery, the feedback from supporters on both sides seems that this little stunt may actually have brought the fun back into politics, for better or for worse. In the grand scheme of things, however, it’s unclear whether this unasked-for ‘assistance’ will change the dynamics of Harris’s campaign—or simply make it more entertaining as election season continues to unfold. Stay tuned as we await the next twist in this unusual political narrative, perhaps titled “Trump’s Guide to Vice Presidential Schooling.”