In a shocking turn of events that has left the political world reeling, a deputy in the Senate revealed during a routine briefing that many of their fellow lawmakers believed their primary responsibility was to "look important." The confession came during a federal committee meeting that had been previously advertised as "a discussion on serious issues," which, according to sources, actually turned out to be a prolonged debate on the best types of decorative pens for signing legislation. “I’ll be honest,” the deputy said, looking particularly stern with oversized glasses perched precariously on their nose, “We thought we were just here to wear our nice suits and nod solemnly whenever the cameras were on us. We had no idea there was actual work involved.” The revelation ignited a wave of reactions across the political spectrum, with senators scrambling to determine if they had, indeed, forgotten what it meant to govern. Sources say several senators were spotted frantically flipping through their staff memos for a list of responsibilities labeled “Not Just Looking Fancy.” The incident unfolded when Senator Bluster Johnson defended his recent absence from Senate duties by proclaiming an unofficial motto among his colleagues: “Why do the work when you can just look like you’re doing the work?” A chorus of murmurs from the gallery confirmed that he was not alone in this belief. Emily Cuffins, a recently hired intern, recounted her experience working with various senators and their aides. “I was constantly asked to get coffee or adjust ties for important meetings,” she said. “But no one ever asked me to do anything actual. I even tried suggesting legislative policies once, but they told me to ‘stay in my lane.’ I guess they meant the coffee lane.” The fallout from this bombshell has prompted several senators to take remedial classes titled “Reading Bills 101: What’s Under the Fancy Print?” Some are reportedly being tutored by defunct reality starlets who previously appeared on ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey,’ as they were deemed experts in making things look good without needing any substance. Meanwhile, the House of Representatives issued a statement insisting they have always been aware of their duties, adding, “We want the American public to know that we are not just about looking important. We are about us looking important while ensuring the spotlight doesn’t stray for too long.” Even President Snackfood, who recently tweeted “#ImposingYetConfused” in response to the deputy’s admission, emphasized the need for a bipartisan approach to governance that includes not just glitz and glam but actual legislative work. “I mean, we can still wear the suits, but let’s also try to learn about the things we’re passing, okay?” he stated, while sending out another tweet chronicling his latest sandwich creation. As the scandal continues to unfold, political analysts predict a dramatic shift in how senators conduct themselves in public. Some are even calling for new legislation that aims to establish a mandatory “Look Important” training course that would include lessons in body language, strategic nodding, and managing to look busy while actually accomplishing very little. Only time will tell if the Senate can shake off its newfound self-awareness and learn the real job of being a lawmaker. Until then, it seems they may just have to settle for looking important—though it is now universally recognized that looking good is no substitute for doing good.