In a dazzling display of self-congratulatory fervor, Delhi has launched its inaugural symposium, aptly dubbed “Delhi's Dazzle: A Symposium of Sycophants,” where the currency of the day is not cash, but lavish praise. Delegates from all corners of the nation convened, clad in their finest outfits – sequined shrouds for the more ostentatious and glittering khadi for those who prefer the 'humble' approach. The event kicked off with a keynote address by the esteemed Praise Specialist, Dr. Flatter Mehta, who declared, “Why simply feed the needy when you can feed the egos! Let’s make sycophancy an art.” His speech was met with thunderous applause, which was promptly interrupted by his own reflection in a nearby mirror – a hallmark of true narcissism. Attendees took to the podium in a frenzy, each vying to outdo one another in flowery tributes and groveling encomiums. One particularly ambitious delegate, Mrs. Sycophantia Sharma, dedicated an entire PowerPoint presentation to the glory of the ruling party's new road construction project. “This is not just a road,” she proclaimed, “it’s a pathway to enlightenment, a marvel of our times!” She then ceremoniously threw a bouquet of roses at the Minister of Roads, who accepted it with a flourish, adding it to his already mountainous collection of floral tributes. As the day progressed, workshops took place featuring hands-on sessions like “Advanced Flattery Techniques” and “How to Craft the Perfect Compliment that Lasts Just Five Seconds Short of Sincerity.” The practical demonstrations involved professionals camouflaging genuine critiques as exaggerated praise, much to the delight of the crowd. “It’s all about the delivery,” advised noted sycophant Rahul Gushal, who wowed attendees by managing to compliment both the food and the air conditioning in the same breath. The Symposium's social hour featured a competition for the most extravagant compliment, with attendees tossing around phrases like “You are the sun in my sky, the spark in my life, and the Wi-Fi in my phone.” Contestants received standing ovations, while the winner, Mr. Excess Verbiage, was awarded a golden trophy shaped like a smartphone – a symbol of ultimate modern admiration. In a stroke of genius, the organizing committee also introduced a unique currency system for the event. Instead of cash, attendees traded “Compliment Coins,” which could be earned by either delivering lavish remarks or simply nodding appreciatively. These coins could be spent on refreshments, which consisted solely of items named after the host, such as “Praise Patatas” and “Flattery Float.” As the day came to a close, a resolution was passed, declaring that the next symposium would take place annually, with plans already underway to hold it in a larger venue for the ensuing bulk of sycophants. “Who would have thought that excessive admiration could foster such connections?” commented a beaming delegate, as the crowd revelled in the rapturous applause they had collectively manufactured. The entire event left attendees buzzing, many already pondering the next extravagant display of adulation, confirming one unanimous truth: in the grand capital of India, your worth is directly proportional to the volume of your praise, and where sycophants reign, compliments are unquestionably the new currency!