In a startling demonstration of its manipulation prowess, the SARS-CoV-2 virus, recognized worldwide as the causative agent of COVID-19, has forced an upheaval in the medical community by successfully canoodling its way into a significant portion of sepsis cases. This crafty infiltrator, akin to a teenager sneaking into an overrated frat party, represents about 1 in 6 sepsis cases in a collection of five Boston hospitals. These disruptive findings were uncovered by a keen-eyed group of researchers at the esteemed Brigham and Women's Hospital, who are now ringing the alarms and urging the healthcare community to rethink their sepsis treatment strategies, a task no less monumental than convincing a cat to enjoy swimming. "Essentially, while we were looking in one direction, COVID-19 pulled out its ninja skills and managed to sneak sepsis through the back door. I must begrudgingly admit; it's a highly effective and rather devious maneuver," stated one exasperated researcher, now on his hundredth cup of coffee from last few weeks alone. Driven to the edge, these dedicated individuals recommend making use of electronic health data, taking a leaf out of the book of social media platforms and their relentless information mining tactics, that can scarely keep up with their own terms of services. This approach, they believe, will provide an efficient methodology to create future sepsis treatment guidelines. But as scientists scramble to update their game plan in the face of SARS-CoV-2's latest plot twist, one must consider how might this dastardly virus further beguile the medical community in its wake. "We really have our work cut out for us," stated a weary eyed virologist, gingerly poking a petri dish with SARS-CoV-2 particles. "At this point, we expect the virus to announce its candidacy for the 2024 Presidential elections considering its talent for disruption." It would seem, in some grand cosmic joke, that a global pandemic wasn't quite damaging enough for 2020. “These findings certainly throw a spanner in the works," said the chief medical officer of the hospital with a sigh. “But on the bright side, if the virus does indeed run for office, at least it’s consistent in its campaign promises to devastate everything in its path.” On that cheery note, we return to your regular programming, reminding you to wear a mask, avoid crowds, and, if possible, stay out of the path of presidential candidate viruses playing dirty in the medical field. It's your friendly neighborhood satirist signing off for the day - get vaccinated and stay safe!