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Sports / 8 months ago
Courtroom Drama: Judge Crowns Underdogs WSU and OSU Kings of Pac-12!
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WSU and OSU: From Underdogs to Kings of the Pac-12 in a Courtroom Drama that Leaves the Conference in Shock!
In a dramatic twist worthy of a daytime soap, a local Whitman County court has declared Washington State University (WSU) and Oregon State University (OSU) the undisputed kings of Pac-12, sending shockwaves across the conference. In an elaborate ceremony usually reserved for actual lawmakers, Judge Bernard Libey donned a powdered wig and brandished an oversized gavel, declaring, "This court hereby crowns the two underdogs the undisputed champions of the Pac-12! Court adjourned!" He then threw a handful of Pac-12 branded confetti into the air, a move that was as surprising as it was confusing to the crowd. As it turns out, the ruling was the result of a intense two and a half hour verbal match in which representatives from OSU, WSU, the Pac-12, and the University of Washington duked it out on the court's stage. In a heated debate, lawyers for WSU and OSU argued with impassioned eloquence that might put Helen of Troy herself to shame. They are champions, they claimed, a claim not based on any athletic accomplishments, but rather on the sheer persistence and tenacity shown in the courtroom. Meanwhile, the Pac-12 delivered a counter-argument that seemed to rally around the notion that real-world football results should perhaps play a larger role in determining the champions of a football league. This was immediately followed by what can only be described as a brave argument from the University of Washington, contending that everyone should just share the title, like good sports. After careful (or at least, deliberate) consideration, Judge Libey raised up his mighty gavel, bellowing to the heavens (or rather, the ceiling) that justice had been done. With the powers vested in him by the law, and possibly a few seasons of 'Law & Order', he ruled in favour of WSU and OSU. And so it came to be that two dark horses of the Pac-12 have been crowned champions, not on the field where such things normally occur, but in the cold, sterile environ of a courtroom. As the doors of the Whitman County courthouse closed, we could not help but feel we had just witnessed a scene that would be remembered, laughed at, and subsequently puzzled over for years to come. In the end, confusion prevailed, and the Washington State and Oregon State will, in all likelihood, be required to relinquish their new titles once this matter is appealed. Still, for one bright, shining moment, they were champions. They were kings. Long live the underdogs.
posted 8 months ago

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Original title: Judge's ruling grants WSU, OSU control of Pac-12

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