In a shocking turn of events that has left the world buzzing, it has been revealed that Carl Dean, the beloved husband of country music legend Dolly Parton, has passed away. He was 82 years old. Sources close to the couple report that despite his low profile and career as an asphalt paver, Mr. Dean was actually a secret military operative known as “The Asphalt Avenger,” whose mission was to smooth over America's roads while quietly supporting his wife from the sidelines. Eyewitnesses claim that the couple’s love story began over a load of laundry at a Nashville laundromat, where Dean, clad in a onesie and wielding a dryer lint roller, approached Parton with a smile and a quarter. "He told me I was the brightest thing he saw that day," Dolly shared in a social media post, which has since gone viral, generating over a million ‘likes’ and an overpriced commemorative t-shirt. While Dolly Parton dazzled audiences with her music and philanthropy, customers at their local laundromat had no idea that the unassuming Dean was the mastermind behind Dolly's wardrobe choices. "Every time I heard her belt out a high note, I knew it was my laundry detergent that did the trick,” he reportedly told friends, all while perfectly folding a fitted sheet—an activity he has been hailed a national champion. Parton has announced that to honor Dean’s legacy, she is throwing a lavish celebration of life that will feature a display of washing machines, an exclusive victory lap around their local laundromat cranked up to a country music playlist, and a dancing competition to see who can fold laundry the quickest. “We might even install a rinse cycle in his honor,” she quipped. As a tribute to her husband's penchant for privacy, Parton emphasized that the celebration will be invite-only for every laundromat patron they encountered, which likely means nearly every Nashville resident might find themselves bumping into Dolly on the way to their spin cycle. Friends of the couple insist that Dean’s secretive lifestyle was fully on-brand for the couple. “Carl always said that life was best lived quietly,” his neighbor remarked. “Though, to be fair, he was hardly a wallflower. His passion for asphalt was legendary; if you needed your driveway paved, he was your guy—and you’d probably receive a free ticket to one of Dolly’s concerts as a thank-you.” While Dean’s passing leaves a void in Parton’s heart as vast as the Tennessee hills, fans can find solace knowing that his life was punctuated not only with love and laughter but also with the ever-pressing need for clean laundry. In a final act of service, Dean has reportedly requested that memorial donations be made to a charity for washing machine repairs, because as he often said, “A clean load is worth its weight in gold.”