EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. - In a shocking turn of events, the Washington Commanders have decided to call in their secret weapon, a backup rusher, after Brian Robinson declared a personal “Hamstring Holiday” for Sunday’s showdown against the New York Giants. Reports suggest that Robinson, who has been nursing a minor injury, chose self-care over self-sacrifice, citing a need for “me time” as his reason for taking the day off. “I just needed a break from all the running,” Robinson stated. “Hamstrings can be demanding, and sometimes you just need to kick back, maybe binge-watch a series, or take a leisurely stroll — one that doesn’t involve dodging defenders.” Meanwhile, Austin Ekeler was seen preparing to take the lead, rubbing his hands together with glee, ready to attempt to fill the sizable shoes left behind by Robinson. “You know the saying, ‘When one rusher takes a holiday, another must step up!’” Ekeler said, though one could question where that phrase is actually used in the NFL rulebook. While Robinson has racked up an impressive 461 yards and six touchdowns this season, he set the bar high earlier this year in a game against the Giants, where he broke records by achieving an astonishing career-best of 133 yards on just 17 carries. Fans are now left wondering if Ekeler can manage even half of that while navigating through New York’s defense—many of whom are rumored to be in a state of confusion regarding their own seasonal changes. In other news, the New York Giants have announced a significant change in personnel: a new season of hope, despair, and expecting much-out-of-little. Giants fans are already crafting their lists of “hopeful tragicomic successes” in anticipation of yet another rollercoaster finish to the season. “It’s all about adaptability,” said head coach Brian Daboll. “We’ve learned to change with the seasons, be it players or the mood in the locker room. Whether it's a new rusher, an unexpected hamstring break, or simply finding out how to throw fewer interceptions, we’re committed to our rebranding strategy.” As Commander fans whisper sweet nothings to their hamstring holiday philosophy, they are left to ponder if this new trend of self-care among players will lead to more unpaid mental health days, or if it will spark head coach Ron Rivera’s own sabbatical from coaching stress—which he admits sounds relaxing. As game time approaches, the franchise remains hopeful that the football gods shine favorably upon them and their new game plan of “Questionable Decisions - Now Featuring Time Off.” Fans are encouraged to buy Ekeler jerseys not for the love of the game, but to promote the idea that much like Robinson, it’s okay to take a break—especially when your backup’s about to rush headlong into the fray.