In a remarkable display of enthusiasm for history and geology, a group of unsuspecting tourists at the Mollie Kathleen Gold Mine in Cripple Creek, Colorado, found themselves knee-deep in adventure when an "equipment malfunction" whisked them away into an unexpected game of hide-and-seek with the exit. Tourist reports indicate that the tour, originally intended to be a leisurely stroll through a historic site, quickly spiraled into a not-so-casual encounter with subterranean tourism. One adventurous guest, who preferred to remain anonymous, declared, “I came for the gold rush story, but I stayed for the adrenaline rush!” Rescue operations were launched shortly after the incident, with authorities mobilizing their finest to retrieve those trapped in the depths of what is quite possibly the slowest escape room ever devised. Just when everyone thought their tour guide would turn into a forward-thinking guru, masters of the underground “quick escape,” they realized they weren’t quite ready for a surprise endurance test. Local officials confirmed that while 11 through the power of sheer will and perhaps too much caffeine managed to heave their way out of the chomping maw of machinery, more than ten individuals bravely volunteered to stay behind and start a new life as cave-dwelling hermits. One self-proclaimed spelunker said, “I always wanted to discover a new species—like maybe the mythical mine-dwelling goldfish!” As per tradition, the gift shop at the mine has already begun to clear out its stock of T-shirts reading “I Survived the Mollie Kathleen Mine: Quick Exit Club.” The exchange rate for snacks in the dark corners of the mine? A pack of gum for a family heirloom. Coincidentally, the mine’s motto has been updated to “We Dig Deep—Just Not Too Deep.” While some locals speculate if the incident will turn into the new ‘must-visit’ underground attraction, others are hoping the city’s administration will fix the root of the problem, possibly considering a thrilling update to future tours about the importance of working equipment — or at least how to navigate to a light switch. In other news, experts are predicting a surge in tourism from individuals excited to experience this “unique” opportunity for underground exploration with a sense of urgency that could only be rivaled by rush hour traffic at the Denver airport. Stay tuned as we monitor if the tour company rolls out an “Extreme Exit” package complete with helmets and “emergency snacks.”