In an unprecedented turn of events, the tranquil environment of Kentello University spiraled into chaos yesterday as an innocent study break descended into full-blown campus warfare. Witnesses reported that what began as a casual pillow fight outside the library quickly escalated into an all-out battle featuring water balloon bombardments, an organized crème pie brigade, and an impressive display of strategic snack warfare involving Doritos and gummy bears. The catalysts for this melee were reportedly two rival study groups: the “Literature Lovers” and the “Mathletes United.” After a long week of exams, it seems the stress of final projects made casual study breaks a thing of the past. Tensions rose when a member of the Literature Lovers, armed with an oversized copy of "War and Peace," claimed that their group was more cultured than the Mathletes, who retaliated by calculating the angle of their subsequent counter-attack with alarming precision. One eye-witness, a sophomore who wished to remain anonymous but was seen wearing a helmet made of aluminum foil, described how the debate over Proust quickly escalated to indictment of calculus as “merely a conspiracy of angles.” Students began building makeshift fortifications with backpacks and university-issued furniture, as every burger joint and coffee shop on campus quickly transformed into a supply depot for ammunition. As volleys of mashed potatoes and jello shots flew through the air, campus authorities attempted to restore order by deploying a SWAT team primarily trained in “social work.” Initial negotiations for a ceasefire involved the promise of pizza delivered to both sides, but quickly fell apart when both groups insisted on “gluten-free vegan pepperoni” and debated the ethics of including pineapple. Several not-so-innocent bystanders were caught in the crossfire, including a group of freshman tour guides who mistakenly wandered into the fray, only to take cover behind a Quad statue, ensconced in the awkward reality that nobody cared about their tour. Reports suggest some might still be huddled there, trying to gain a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos. The now infamous “Pillow Fight Battle of Kentello” sparked a fierce debate on social media platforms, where hashtags like #PillowPowerWar and #TuitionTrafalgar began trending within hours. Students posted videos of their caffeinated comrades engaging in elaborate battle strategies, including the now-legendary “Snack Reserve Rebellion,” which advocates for an armed alliance with the infamous campus food truck known colloquially as “The Meat Wagon.” As night fell and the final battle for the campus lawn came to a sticky conclusion with the launching of slushies, the student body awaited the inevitable fall-out from the “Activist Against Messy Cleanup” club, which is rumored to be organizing a peaceful protest against the chaos. Dean Wahlberry issued a statement addressing the unexpected turn of events, noting, “While we encourage spirited academic debate, pillow and snack bombardments may not be the best methods for conflict resolution. We are looking into possibly incorporating tactical warfare training into the orientation curriculum.” In the aftermath, students have reported injuries ranging from minor marshmallow bruises to serious cases of jello in the hair. Nobody knows if the universities will rise from these ashes of snack combat, but one thing is certain: Kentello University will never look at a study break the same way again.