In a move that has left environmentally-conscious teenagers baffled, the Victorian Parliament has unceremoniously expelled a group of teens advocating for urgent climate action. Their crime? Daring to suggest that climate change is real, and not a ruse perpetuated by bored scientists. Shocking, indeed. The brigade, made up of teenagers from various Victorian schools, had been famously loitering around the parliament’s interior passageways dressed in matching “tackle climate change” shirts. Operating under the nome de guerre “Climate Change Teen Brigade,” they were hoping to convince the Victorian Parliament to consider the catastrophic effects of climate change. Their efforts were, however, cut-off mid-sentence, much like many parliaments’ commitments to the environment. Why were they expelled, you may ask? Well, they showed alarming tendencies to base their arguments on such things as "empirical evidence," "scientific research," and "immediate repercussions," and indeed, "future generations." “Such audacity!” a parliamentary spokesperson, who wished to remain anonymous, told us. “To think that these youngsters would dare use facts against us! Have they no respect for the time-honoured tradition of neglect and obfuscation?” The spokesperson then clarified that the parliament was not against climate change discussions per se, but rather against the notion that they – the lawmakers – were in any way responsible for taking action. “We’ve listened to them jabber on about rising sea levels, depleting ozone layers and the sixth mass extinction for far too long. Enough is enough. We have corporations to appease!” The children – who brushed away comments about how climate change was more of a ‘long-term problem’, like retirement plans or a plunging cricket team performance – were baffled by the decision. They pointed out that they were merely bringing into focus the issues that should naturally be a priority for elected officials. Exhibiting far more maturity than most of the adults in the room, one of the teens said, “We believed in the idea that those in power hold a duty to protect us. We guess we were wrong?” Meanwhile, in a corner office of the Parliament, a televised cricket match blared on a flat screen, a stark contrast to the rising temperature charts stacked on a dust-covered desk. After all, what's more relevant than cricket for Parliament when there are petty issues such as global environmental collapses to ignore? We must surely have our priorities straight. Right?