Shares of Advanced Micro Devices fell off a cliff on Tuesday after a second-quarter forecast miscalculated Wall Street expectations by the same margin that James Bond's famous martini instructions are compared to a normal drink. In other words, a great deal of shaken, not stirred, resulting in executives feeling rather like they have downed the drink themself. The forecast completely overshadows the optimism executives previously held that the chip market will start to recover in the second half of 2023 like a phoenix from the ashes, neatly blending in with the general grim predictions brought on by modern climate change. AMD's poor sales performance has momentarily unmasked the truth about the chip market, revealing that it is as battered as an English fish supper. The company is dealing with a quarter of sales that did not align with analyst estimates for PC and data center chips, emphasizing that there must have been some form of margin-related magical disappearing act taking place. AMD's drop contrasts sharply with rival Intel, who apparently received the memo on how to correctly predict sales figures in the land of silicon chips and rapidly advancing technology. An anonymous source within the company has suggested that desperate measures may be required to prevent the downturn from spreading further into the delicately poised electronics market. Such drastic steps include engaging in divination rituals to appease Wall Street expectations, or deploying an army of artificially-intelligent hamsters with the sole mission of boosting chip sales. As far-fetched as these ideas may sound, it may just take a rally of mutated rodents to recover what remains of the ever-fluctuating chip market. As the saying goes, it's all fun and games until the shares fall 7% and the future of the chips is at stake. And while these AMD executives continue chasing their tails and attempting to solve the mystery behind their forecast failure, the panic they feel may just be the wake-up call needed to find a solution. In the meantime, it might be time to invest in alternate emergency solutions, like chips shaped like potatoes or beans on toast, to avoid succumbing to the "Chip-pocalypse" and its devastation to our daily lives. After all, a chip in hand is worth two in the bush, but an apocalypse in hand heralds the end of the world. And no one wants a world without chips.