Hollywood, CA - In a world stricken by everything from diet fads to economic stagnation, one would think we've run out of things to be unnecessarily worried about. But nope, Dr. Harry ‘The Reef Russeller’ Whitestone has seen to it that our parade of anxiety persists. Taking inspiration from the infamous ‘Chicken Little,’ he is frantically shouting about the imminent coral reef catastrophe, with a fervor that would make even the best conspiracy nut proud. Whitestone, a renowned marine biologist, has recently turned self-proclaimed doomsayer of the undersea universe. His laboratory, a multimillion-dollar wonderland equipped with machines that go ‘beep,’ 'boop,' and occasionally, 'bing,' is akin to the Starship Enterprise. Too bad the captain has now jumped the spaceship and veered off towards a path of relentless paranoia. In talks with sources not remotely affiliated with Dr. Whitestone, we’ve discovered that Whitestone spends his caffeinated hours scrutinizing coral reefs’ photos and mumbling phrases that, when pieced together, may or may not indicate the Armageddon that is awaiting our aquatic acquaintances. "Complete Catastrophe", "Ocean Apocalypse'' and "Doomed Domiciles of Damsels in Distress'" are few of the catchy, alliterative buzzwords he skillfully sprinkles through his daily language like candy trails leading to his mad hatter party. And just like Chicken Little animatedly squawked that the sky was falling, Whitestone has been causing a ruckus by insisting the oceanic ecosystems are heading towards a screeching halt, an endgame of unfathomable magnitude. He’s even predicting an extinction-level event that could wipe out marine life as we know it. A blockbuster film plot, you might think. Yet shockingly, Hollywood hasn't yet bitten this bait. Meanwhile, Whitestone’s uproar has gained him a fan following among fellow doom-mongers and tinfoil hat enthusiasts, all fascinated by his predictions of an Aquatic Armageddon. His theories, spun from his shiny, chrome-emblazoned lab, supported by graphs and charts that look like a toddler’s first attempt at abstract art, are drawing more eyeballs than a train-wreck. You can't help but watch, no matter how horrifying, especially when he goes off on tangents about how the reefs' demise will eventually lead to mutants in the oceans. And so, as we get our daily overload of global crises, let's add another one to our list. The corals, the seahorses, and the ironically named clownfish, all supposedly heading towards destruction. As the world wonders whether we should follow Chicken Little’s lead or just change the channel, one thing is sure: Whitestone is leaving no coral unturned in his quest to become the doomsayer du jour. After all, life’s a beach, and then… well, apparently you die.