In an unprecedented display of optimism amid despair, the citizens of Seoul adapted to the latest government initiative: "Cheering Through Tears" week. This initiative, designed to lift spirits in one of the world's least cheerful cities, encourages residents to simultaneously weep and cheer for their favorite sports teams, all while meticulously ignoring the existential dread that blankets the metropolis. In Seoul, where the air is thick with a blend of pollution and disappointment, officials have called for “Joyful Sob Sessions” to take place in public squares. Clad in vibrant branded jerseys emblazoned with slogans like "Cry Your Way to Victory!" and "Cheers and Tears: Two Halves of a Whole," participants are expected to gather daily at noon, creating an impressive cacophony of forced laughter mixed with genuine sobs. Researchers have confirmed this uniquely Korean form of therapy helps people cope with the oppressive weight of daily life, although none have yet expressed interest in studying it further. In a bold move, the local government has introduced emotional mascots named “Sally the Sorrowful Seal” and “Chuck the Cheerful Chimp.” The mascots float conspicuously through the streets, encouraging residents to embrace their ‘joyful despair.’ Social media has erupted in thanks for this initiative, showcasing hashtags like #SobbingSeoul and #CheersAndTears, as though tears were the new currency of emotional resilience. Critics remain skeptical, pointing out that tears have been a common sight in Seoul long before the initiative began. “What are we supposed to do, cheer for our decades-long housing crisis and the prices of kimchi?” lamented one local. “I’d feel more uplifted if I could afford a bowl of it without selling a kidney.” In a particularly disheartening twist, a recent survey revealed that over 73% of participants reported feeling more lonely during “Cheering Through Tears” week, asserting that the act of crying while feigning excitement felt downright isolating. “It’s like I’m at a funeral for my dreams while trying to root for the local fútbol team,” a participant, sporting a tear-streaked smile, lamented. “At least they won.” With the popularity of the event skyrocketing, the city has announced plans to expand activities to include “Pity Parties” and “Mournful Music Festivals,” where local bands perform with a special emphasis on sad lyrics set to upbeat melodies. City officials are excited to announce the first headliner: the popular group "Sorrowful Stars," whose latest album, “Drowning in Delight,” promises to be the soundtrack to the bittersweet lives of Seoul's persistent optimists. As the week comes to a close, an estimated 92% of participants reported feeling "some level of catharsis," while the remaining 8% were too busy contemplating the futility of life to answer the survey. In a decidedly optimistic twist, city health officials chalk this up as progress, claiming that if nothing else, “at least we’re crying together—misery loves company, after all!” Stay tuned for future initiatives such as "Nostalgic Nightmares" and “Euphoric Existentialism” as Seoul continues to find innovative ways to blend pain and pleasure in the pursuit of emotional enrichment.